Dear Boy,
Hi there. Before you date me there are some things you need to know. Some things you may or may not like about me. But in the end, I hope you accept me as I am, because chances are, if you're reading this, I've let you into my tiny world.
Firstly, you need to know that I've been hurt in the past, which helped create one of the toughest walls around my heart. I'll play hard to get, but it's only because I want to see how you react to my games. I want to see if you'll be pushy and show me that you only want me for a night or two. I want to see if you'll respect me as a person and let me take my time getting used to everything about you. That will prove to me that I can begin to trust you. The minute I see any red flags, though, I'll slowly get away from you and rebuild my wall even stronger. The more you prove to me that you are gentle and that you value me, those walls will come down, one by one, and I'll eventually fall for you.
Secondly, you need to know that I haven't had the easiest life. I didn't have the care-free childhood that most people had. I grew up with divorced parents and lived two completely different lives. In a way, I was the real life Cinderella (minus the talking animals and fairy godmother). I was never the girl with all the friends or the one being asked out on dates because everyone always knew me as the girl with the family issues. One thing I did have, though, was a stepdad who played the part as my real dad later in life. He took his chances showing me what unconditional love was (he's the guy you'll want to get to know because his opinion is my deciding factor with most people). But having two different families for so long, it's hard to form a concrete concept of real relationships. I hope you show me what it means to be in a faithful and healthy relationship.
Lastly, I hope you know that I do have nights where I just want to be quiet and alone. You're more than welcome to sit with me, but just know I probably won't say anything. On those nights it is the hardest for me to grasp reality. I could be having a great day and feel on top of the world, but something as small as a TV commercial could trigger anxiety and dark thoughts. Those are the nights that I want to lock myself in my room with a pint of Phish Food and cry. The best thing you, or anyone, can do during this time is rub my back and reassure me that everything is okay.
Although what I just told you are the negative things, there is some light to the darkness.
My sense of adventure is far too big for a girl like me. I often don't think before I do, which gets me into trouble. I'm sure you've learned by now; my tattoo and piercings show it. Try to take my choices seriously even if they seem absurd. Help me to make sure I won't regret my decisions, because that's happened more than once in my almost twenty years. Also, know that I don't have a filter and my mouth is worse than a sailor's. Sorry in advanced if I curse around children or the elderly, or if I say something completely dumb that leaves you dazed and confused.
Realize that If I could live without technology, I would, but that's not possible. I'll complain about computers because the only thing I really know how to do is write and watch Netflix on this stupid contraption. I bought it solely so I could turn it into a tablet and use Paint with my fingers. I'll probably come to you with a bunch of questions about techie stuff; please pretend you know what you're doing because I'll admire your attempt to help me. But despite my hatred for technology, I always have my phone on me and I will always 100 percent answer you right away.
One last thing: I love food. I also love cooking, for that matter. If this whole business career path doesn't work out, I might start a culinary career. I can never make decisions when I go out for meals, so be patient because I really just want to try everything on the menu. And usually my appetite is surprisingly big, please don't judge my eating abilities. You shouldn't ever be surprised if you find me binge watching Food Network because that happens often, and you're more than welcome to join me.
But now that you've heard the good and the bad about me, I hope that you stay around because if you've read this, that probably means that you're a part of my world now.
Sincerely,
A Girl Who Wears Her Heart On Her Sleeve
P.S. I believe sheets and pants are society's way of confining us but yes, I own and use both.
