I know you do not feel as though you achieved much in 2018.
I know you feel as though you had one goal at the beginning of the year, a goal you only shared with those closest to you because you did not want the secret-spilling out and ruining your current life while you were trying to start a new one somewhere else, but that goal? It is done. Ticked off the list.
You did it.
You had the courage to say "Do you know what? No. This is not it for me. I want something else" and went and did it. Not everyone can say that they have done that. So be proud. Be proud that you have courage.
I know you want to achieve a lot this year, but I want you also to know that you do not have to do everything all at once. Do not put too much pressure on yourself.
Plan your time a little better. Be more disciplined with how you spend your time. The feeling of having written, of having created, cannot be bottled, so you are going to have to do the work to feel that sense of achievement. There are no shortcuts.
Be kinder to the people who love you the most.
Invite people over a bit more. Cook for friends new and old. Bake those cupcakes you like baking and serve them with a pot of hot chocolate. You have got really good at spending time on your own and, honestly, that's a good thing. It is. Four years ago your on and off again one-year relationship ended, and you thought you'd never be able to do things on your own. But here you are now, at the opposite end of the spectrum.
Do not hide away. Do not make it hard for people to be friends with you.
Keep noticing the small things that make you happy, like the perfect cup of tea in your favorite mug.
Keep singing your heart out. Maybe sing in front of some actual people this year like you used to.
Read books you love and do not waste time finishing ones you do not.
Do the work now so you can be the boss later.
Run because it is therapy because it is meditation.
You need to stop beating yourself up about still feeling a little out of your depth.
It is OK to be still finding your feet. It is OK not to be OK.
Oh, and on that note: tell your friends when you are not OK. They will not be able to fix you, and many of them are miles away, but you need to tell them anyway. Do not struggle on alone. Ask for help. No-one is going to think any less of you.
You are so much more creative when you take a break from your routine. Permit yourself to let your mind wander, to do nothing. The words will come, do not force them. In the meantime, live.
You will have nothing to write about if you do not go out and live.
Achieving something small is better than achieving nothing at all.
You do not need to change to be loved. You do not need to be thinner or quieter. Do not make yourself smaller for anyone else. You know this, but everyone needs a reminder sometimes. Take up space you are entitled to.
Keep being brave, keep learning, keep your eyes and your heart open, keep being yourself.
Most of all, stay focused.
