Wow, Rach, you did it! You're actually a #teen. OK, well, maybe not quite yet, but you're getting ready to take such a big step in you're life. One that hopefully won't follow you after what I presume will be some of the most grueling years of your life. That's why I'm here, actually. That's why I'm writing to you. Because even though middle school is an exciting time, it's also a tough one. Being the fantastic big sister I am, I feel I would be doing you an injustice if I didn't impart some wisdom upon your developing mind.
So, without further ado, here are the things I wish I was told going into middle school. Use them wisely, not everyone is lucky enough to have such a great sister like me.
1. It's OK if things change!
Someone once said the only thing constant is change and boy, are you getting ready to experience a bundle of it! This is might seem really scary to you-- the uncertainty of life, but guess what? It's OK. It's perfectly understandable for you to be upset when your friendships change or your interests take on a new form, but that's what makes you who you are in the end. So, let the winds of life take you were you need to go! Only then will you find true happiness.
2. Don't become something you're not for the sake of others.
Look, I know it's really tempting to like a certain band or be friends with certain people because it'll make you "cool," but IT'S NOT WORTH IT IN THE END. You are such an amazing child, and I know you'll grow to be an amazing woman some day, but if you change yourself just to fit in, you won't be happy. At least not truly happy, you may think the way you feel is happiness when all it really is, is like some second-hand slice of cheese. (Gross.) One day, out of the blue, you're "happiness" will fade and you'll feel like total crap.Be yourself! I know it sounds kind of cliché, but you're the only you out there! Everyone else is taken! So spread your wings wide, little sister. The world is your oyster.
3. People will be mean to you.
It's a horrifying idea, I know, but for some reason, girls (and boys) become really mean individuals around 11-13. Maybe it's all the hormones? Anyways, not the point... the point is that someone, even someone who you may think the world of right now, could turn to the dark side. It's upsetting and you don't want to believe it right now, but take it from someone who's been there. I never would have wanted to be friends with those I was acquainted with as a child as I am now. We had our fights, (I even started some) but it all worked out in the end. We were just different people who were inevitably going to take different paths in life.
But the one aspect of this who point that I want to get across to you most is this: let people be mean to you, don't be mean to them. Bullying is quite possibly one of the ugliest characteristics to have. It's selfish, it's stupid, it's not you. Be the kindness you wish to see in the world. Even if no one shows it to you, you dish it out to them. Kill them with kindness! That's the only way negativity will ever be truly combated. (Plus, it makes them so mad when they can't get you all flustered!)
4. Your Grades have nothing to do with who you are as a person.
Everyone bases everything on how smart you are, what grades you get, or how you did on a test. But you know what? It really doesn't matter if you get an A or a C. Take a different approach to your education and wholeheartedly learn something. The square root of 54 is never going to help you in life. Reading Animal Farm is not exactly going to make you a better human being. But if you can apply these things to your life, that's learning.
You're told that you have to make the grade to succeed, but what they don't tell you is that life doesn't have standardized tests. You can't easily get ahead by making the grade once. You have to work hard to succeed-- and you do that extremely well. Who cares if a girl who gets straight A's makes fun of you. She'll never know the meaning of hard work and life will be tougher for her because of it. Just work hard, and do the best you can. Everyone is good at something, your thing just might not be school. And that's perfectly OK!
5. Boys suck.
There's no running around it. So, just omit them and what you might think is "love" from your life because you need to know yourself before you know another. I never had any "romances" and I turned out a lot better because of it. Relationships are hard work and you just don't need that at a time like this. Take time to be alone and really discover who you are and what you like. It might feel lonely at times, but that shouldn't be what defines you. Just because you are alone doesn't mean you're lonely. Remember that and then go play some Sims because at least those relationships aren't real.
6. Stand up for yourself and others whenever you can.
Remember how I said people are going to be mean? Yea, well they aren't just going to be mean to you. Everyone is mean to everyone sometimes and if you call them a friend, you need to give them the friendly truth. All this means is that you should explain to them (kindly) how the way they are acting makes you, or the other person, feel. They might get mad, but just let them cool off for a while. Chances are it'll all work out in the end, but the only reason I mention this in the first place is because you're a strong-willed kid. You don't let anyone push you around and if someone is doing something you believe to be wrong, you're going to say something about it. Yet, not all of your friends will be this way. Where you have the fight, they have the flight. So, watch out for your fellow brothers and sisters, a true friend is always loyal to those who have their backs.
7. Confidence is key!
Oh my good golly gosh, please have confidence in yourself! No matter what you do, have confidence. You will solve so many problems if you learn to put your own needs first. OK, yea, some might think that's selfish, but you can do nothing for others if you aren't healthy physically and mentally. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I can't give you a step by step process to finding why you love yourself-- you have to take that journey without a mentor-- but I certainly can come with you if you want. I can't make you love yourself, but you sure can. I can be there for support, but you are the only one with the power to truly love yourself. Just think about it like this: I want you to love yourself as much as Donald Trump loves himself. (Perhaps that will put things in perspective for you?)
8. YOU ARE ENOUGH!
I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS! Look, you're going to feel second best at times, it's just apart of life. But OH MY GOD, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE! You are an incredibly intelligent, insanely beautiful and thoughtful human being and anyone who doesn't see you as such needs to be kicked to the curb. You have no idea how much I've struggled with this recently. I'd never want you to cry yourself to sleep thinking that you aren't good enough for something-- no matter what it was. It's not you that isn't good enough, it's that what you think you want may not be attainable. That's a heartbreaking realization, but it happens. But failure has nothing to do with you if you keep it at an arms length away. You are too good for this world, Suzanne. Never forget that!
9. Forget all about what others think of you.
Do you know how long I've struggled with this? I still do! I care so much about what others think of me and the truth is, I couldn't give less of a crap about them. Sounds really dumb right? Yea, it is. What's even dumber is that I know that wholeheartedly, but I still catch myself wondering what kind of chain reaction the things I do or say will cause.
OK, so don't run through life with scissors-- intentionally ruining every chance you'd ever hope of having at success. But be a radical person. If you want to wear shorts without shaving your legs because you have a mountain of homework to do, do it! Worried people will think you're gross? It's none of their business. You find yourself eyeing a cute boy (or girl) who's a "nerd" or the like? Go acquaint yourself. They might be your best friend for life.
10. If you find that you've done any or all of these things in the next 3-7 years, it's not the end of the world.
We all make mistakes, OK? Everyone. You, me, Mom, Dad, everyone. Some might not admit it more frequently than others, but I promise you they aren't perfect. It's OK to make mistakes. Crap, make as many as you can, but learn from them! Find something to work on in every misstep or misspoken word. That's the only way you're going to grow. (School isn't the only place you can learn, you know.)
With all of this being said, celebrate how far you've come this week. Look back fondly on the memories-- good and bad-- and look forward to the future with your head held high. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met and I am SO proud to call myself your sister. The years ahead may be hard, but know that I am always a call, text, or FaceTime away. (No matter where I am in the world.)
Congratulations, Sis, and as you move forward in your life remember one more thing more than all the others: I love you more than anything in the world.
