I would like to start off by saying thank you. Thank you, for giving me such a wonderful home, and for giving me something worth missing so much.

If you had told me when I was 18 that I was going to miss my mom so much when I went away to college, I would have laughed. Growing up, my mom and I were close, she was my best friend, but when high school rolled around, our personalities clashed. I am extremely type A and high strung whereas my mother is extremely type B. Naturally, our polar opposite personality’s created problems between us. Our relationship was sometimes rocky and we didn’t always see eye to eye.

When the time came to look at colleges, I couldn’t wait. I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait to leave. And now, I can’t imagine why I wanted to leave so badly.

Mom, I miss you every single day. You are my strength when I can’t summon my own. You are my voice of reason when my anxiety almost gets the best of me. You are my rock. You are my full time therapist and part time doctor.

I don’t think I tell you this enough so I am telling you now. You are so incredibly appreciated and loved more deeply than you will ever know.

Thank you for always answering my phone calls at 3 am (sorry about that), for reminding me that small worries aren’t the end all be all, for pushing me to seize every opportunity, for agreeing with me even when I’m wrong, for listening to me complain about my petty problems that didn’t seem so petty at the time, for catering to my picky diet and making spaghetti 4 times a week.

Thank you for the tough love and teaching me how to be an optimist, for not solving my problems but making me do that on my own, for teaching me that white and black clothes really can’t be washed together, and how to clean a bathroom. And for making home such a wonderful place to be. But most of all, thank you for being my mom and my first and always best friend. And for giving me someone to miss so much.

I think it’s easy for people to say that they love their moms and that they miss them. But I don’t think it is easy for people to say that their mom is their absolute best friend and the strongest person they have ever met (although I might be a little biased). To have someone who inspires me so much and who makes me want to be a better, more thoughtful and kind person is truly something to be thankful for.

I’m growing up now, mom, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need you. I’ll always need you to reassure me, to be my voice of reason, to push me when I don’t want to go on. I’ll always need you to tell me how to get rid of the mold in my shower (really), what medicine to take when I am sick, what to say to the boy who hurt me, I’ll need you to encourage me when I don’t think I am smart enough or capable. I’ll need my number one fan in every step I take moving forward.

I’ll need you, always.

To the woman who gave me everything and then some, I’m eternally grateful and will always strive to make you proud. Because of you, I am a stronger, more independent person; I am more grateful and less selfish. Because of you, I am who I am.

I’m growing up now, mom, but I’ll always be your little girl and you’ll always be my best friend.

I know we will always have our ups and downs and that our relationship will never be perfect. But my hope is that one-day I will be able to repay you for half of what you have given me and that my daughter (if that happens) loves and admires me as much as I do you.

“My mother… she is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her.”

Love your eternally grateful daughter,

Kacie