Hey, it's been a while.
At least, it will have been by the time I'm you. Come to think of it, how far in the future is the me I'm addressing this to? Is it the me I'll be when I wake up tomorrow, or in twenty years?
Wherever or whenever you are, I hope you're okay.
It hasn't been easy to be me. You. Us. We've always been different from those around us, and not in a way that they have typically taken kindly to. We either live too loudly or too quietly, never in between.
That's just the way we've always been. Too much. Not enough.
We push people away because we're afraid the novelty of our eccentricity will wear off in time. We leave them before they get the chance to leave us. It's not a win or lose, but a draw. That is how I attempt to justify it, at least.
I hope you've managed to find people who see the mess of contradictions you embody and choose to stick around not in spite of them, but because of them. That's what everyone deserves, really.
Everyone deserves someone who will listen to their ramblings about topics only they care about, someone who will laugh at even their most poorly fabricated jokes and be there for them in their most vulnerable moments. Do you have that yet? Does anyone? I'd like to think so, and that it's out there for me. For us. For everyone who needs reassurance that they'll be okay, too.
I hope you're okay.
We've been through a lot, you and me. Surgeries and heartbreaks and failures, with hardly a moment to breathe in between each one. It's been a long, uncertain road, and I sincerely hope it's leading somewhere beautiful. I could use something beautiful to make it all worthwhile.
That's not to say there haven't been good things, too. To you they might be distant memories, but I hope you still hold onto them. I hope you never forget the nice things we've seen on the way to that big, bright, beautiful thing at the end of the tunnel. What's it like there? Are you happy? I hope so. I hope you smile so much your cheeks hurt. I hope you look back on the bad things that made you who you are while still holding on to the good. I hope there's a lot of good ahead of me.
Above all, I hope you're okay.
Because I know that someday, when I'm you, I will be.
