I’ve burned a lot of bridges in my day. There’s far too may to count and far too many to repair easily, that’s for sure. I’ve burned enough bridges in the past two years to know that it is not easy to try to reconstruct them once you’ve already swept away the ashes. The best thing I've learned to remember in these situations is that you may not be able to start from the same point you once were and that bridge will never be the same again, but if you keep holding on the hope that you'll someday start over and create something new, anything is possible. You can build a new bridge (or friendship) and get over the sore feelings, hidden agendas, and rocky foundation that you once had. What I’m trying to say with this worn out extended metaphor is that I'm finally ready to start over, and to my former friends, this one is for you.

I'll be the first to admit that I have made a lot of mistakes with the relationships I’ve kept with people. I put my faith and trust in the wrong hands, turned away those with the right ones, and caused all my friendships to become casualties of my selfishness. My life has become a series of rocky patches and I have yet to figure out how to deal with them without turning away from all people in the process. Coming home after my first year of college was a huge wake-up call regarding that; the friends who I thought would be forever now no longer speak to me, and I have spent most, if not all, of my summer break alone. It took seeing so many tragedies around the world for me to even appreciate that I had people in my life concerned for my well-being. And then it made me realize that I have spent far too much time being so angry and bitter about things that are completely out of my control, and the things I can control (like friendships) should be cherished, not destroyed. The world is becoming a loveless place and I am constantly haunted by the thought that it could have been me or any of my friends - or the former ones - that were taken away. All of this has given me a new perspective on life and now I want nothing more than to begin to reconnect with the people I have abandoned along the way.

Regardless of the circumstances, I never stopped loving or respecting anyone that is now referred to as a “former friend”. Without them and our experiences together, I would never be the person I am today and I cannot thank them enough for helping me become me. They have always been unapologetically themselves and have such a loud spirit that I hope will never fade. We may all be in different schools and cities now, but I will never stop hoping for the best for them. However, I know that these relationships will never be the same, that’s a given. We are different people now, with different interests and different lives, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the things that brought us together before, can’t bring us together once again someday. Maybe we even found new similar interests after going away to college. Nevertheless, anyone who has drifted away from someone they were formerly close to can relate to feeling like being a burden on the lives of these people if and when trying to reconnect, and I myself am forever insecure that they will never see me in a positive light again. But does that mean I shouldn’t at least try?

Maybe 10 years down the line we can really reconnect like old friends do and work on the bridges that I burned to hell two years ago. As for now, I am comfortable with letting people progress and change at their own pace and if these metamorphoses don't include me, I can accept that. I never will expect them to beat down my front door asking to be friends again, but if it happens naturally I will gladly welcome it. We were friends once for a reason, and I don't see any harm in creating this new bridge as who we are now.