The greatest gift that God can bless you with, is the unity of love within a grandparent and a grandchild. One of the hardest things He will put someone through is breaking that unity of love when he calls that grandparent to the gates of Heaven; your time seemed too soon, Grandma.
Growing up everyone has that one best friend they cannot get enough of and that is what you were for me. My time as a young child was cherished sitting on your lap on your rocker, or getting into our lighthouse pajama's and watching General Hospital while eating toast and coffee. Whenever I got into trouble with mom, you were my rescue because I knew you would always be on my side, even when I was in the wrong. The endless sporting events you attended just to show your support for Cardinal Pride never went unnoticed because I knew you would always be there screaming for me and for all the athletes that weren't even your own.
Life has a crazy way of playing awful tricks on people especially the best and beautiful ones; like you. Cancer. Not the zodiac sign. Cancer. The deadly disease that ruins a human being. Cancer. The deadly disease that ruins a family. Cancer. The deadly disease that causes pain to a person's mind, body, soul, and well-being. Cancer. The deadly disease that took you away from me.
It hurt me to watch someone who was always strong and carried a family on their back become weak and ill. It hurt me to watch a real life angel cry for days on because of the pain that was being caused by cancer. It hurt me to watch my best friend die more and more every day.
I know that even though you aren't here anymore, that you were there for my middle school and high school years, my graduation, my first year of college, and my biggest achievements to becoming an adult. I know that you will be there for my college days, my graduation day, my wedding day, my journey of becoming a writer, and my labor day when I bring your great grandchild (or grandchildren) into this world.
You showed me that even when the odds are against you, anything is possible. You showed me that the greatest pain to oneself doesn't mean you cannot live every single day to the absolute fullest. You showed me that it is better to be selfless than selfish-- although I spend my days being selfish wishing He didn't call you to Heaven because I want you back. You showed me what it is like to lose someone and not have any control of the outcomes. You showed me that I need to appreciate every given moment I am granted with because sometimes I didn't appreciate the time spent with you since I never knew when it would be my last.
We have all grown over the years that you have been gone, but we know you have experienced all the things that life has thrown at us, with us. Time wasn't running out with you like some said, adventure and love was just speeding up.
You had a heart of gold and I know when the sun is shining and I feel the heat upon my face, that it is your presence I am being granted with. Every rainbow in the sky reminds me of your laughter and every raindrop reminds me of the tears shed.
I miss the way you would dance in the kitchen with Papa to the oldest songs I didn't even know the name of. I miss the endless jams to Fergie with you in the car. I miss your ray of sunshine that you brought with you everywhere because your aura shined too bright sometimes. I miss your dark red lipstick, even now that I am older, I wish I could pull it off the way you did. I miss hearing your voice, your laugh, your complaining, and your worries. I miss when you called me your little angel because, now, you are mine. I miss how beautiful this world was before you left it.
Sometimes, I get angry thinking that some people forget about you but then I remember that no one ever could because you left that big of an impact on them. There are an enormous amount of times in my life since you have been gone that I know you were watching over me. The car accidents that could have easily happened, the amount of times I could've gotten in trouble for lying to mom and dad, and all the good luck life has brought me; these things I thank you for, my angel.
You weren't just a regular grandma, you were a cool grandma. Ever since I was little you promised me that you would take me teepee'ing once I turned 14, you still owe me that 2 am drive to go throw toilet paper in people's trees and yards so don't think I forgot.
We all miss you. We all hold on to the moments spent with you. Graduation parties, weddings, baby showers, athletic events, concerts, soap operas, toast and coffee, lighthouses, cardinals-- nothing is the same without you here but I have learned to have a better love for all of these things because they remind me of you.
One of the happiest moments that I will always remember about you are the times spent singing Glamorous in your car, so this one's for you, Grandma Barb:
While we knew the lyrics by heart, the lyrics had a way of drifting to the heart. We lived the Glamorous life, but not by having all of the materialistic things, just by having one another. That was enough Glamour for the two of us.
The memory of you forever burns in my mind; your smile I will hold dearest to my heart. Forever and always, my love will carry on for you, my angel.
