For so long, I thought I was so happy, even though every day I woke up with this pressing need to reconvince the world that I was okay. But more importantly, I remember trying so hard to convince myself.

I remember thinking that I had it all, that the smile on my face was 100 percent genuine. I remember hearing people tell me how strong I was. My friends always turned to me for the smiles and laughter in serious situations. They turned to me for advice on every situation they were in even if I had never been in that situation myself. I remember thinking I had to be the strong one, always smiling, fighting back tears, and being the shoulder for my friends to cry on. I remember thinking I was happy...until I wasn't and I didn't know how to fix it.

The thing is, I had gotten so good at faking my happiness that I had tricked myself into believing it, too. Don't get me wrong, I had every reason to be happy. I have an amazing family, parents who support and love me without limits even in moments I didn't deserve it. I have siblings to look up to. They're my strength and my backbone—and I know not a lot of people can say that. I thought I had so many friends.

However, those people weren't really my friends at all. Sure, now I have a group of friends who I love endlessly and who genuinely support me and sincerely care for my well-being. But back then, I allowed myself to get caught up in the idea of popularity. I mean, I was in high school—that's what the majority of us cared about. We cared so much about what other people thought of us, and now that I'm in the "real world," I can't seem to figure out why I ever found the approval of others to be substantial.

Those people who I tried so hard to impress, who I manipulated myself to become, are so inconsequential to my life that it's almost pathetic that I wasted my time to be like them.

When I hit my rock bottom last year (freshman year of college), I really didn't think I'd find my way out. I was pushing away all my friends and family. I fought with the people I was closest with constantly, and I was miserable to be around. That's when I realized that I needed to pull myself together.

The greatest part about feelings and your state of mind is that you get to choose it. No one else can make you feel a certain way. Can they influence you? Yes. But no one can "make" you feel any way.

These are all things that I wish I knew when I was in high school. There are so many things I've come to experience and learn that would have been so helpful when I was 16.

So with that being said...

To my 16-year-old self:

Choose happiness above all things and stop caring about what other people think, because a couple years from now it won't matter who sat at the popular table, who wore what, or who won prom queen. The little things are what will matter. The little things are what contribute to your persona; how you treat people who are "below you," how you work when no one is watching, what you choose to say when you have everyone listening to you.

Learn a good work ethic. Understand that if you put your heart into something, you can and will achieve it, it's just your mind that you have to convince. Don't wait until you're 19 and getting ready for college softball tryouts to figure out how hard you need to work to make you dreams come true. Work hard from the beginning and you'll go far in life.

Love yourself. When you love yourself, you know how you deserve to be treated and you won't accept anything less. Not a lot of people can say they love themselves, and that's where bullying, jealousy, and hatred comes in. Nicki Minaj says, "When you know you're great, there's no need to hate." I'm not saying you should always take advice from a rapper, but she's right. If you focus on who you are and love yourself, then you'll be comfortable enough in your own skin to not bother or care about what anyone else is doing. I know it's hard to say "I love myself" out loud. Nowadays, society will tell you it's narcissistic to love yourself. But if you look it up in the dictionary it reads:

1. Self-love

no un-regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

It is not egotistical to love yourself, and that's where so many issues are started. People have eating disorders, people commit suicide, people resent themselves and resent others because society tells them it's not okay to say "I love myself." You know what I say to that? Screw society. Something becomes a social norm because we make it normal, so everyone needs to start loving themselves and being okay with others loving themselves so we can change the way self-love is perceived. Don't let it take you your whole life to learn how to love yourself... and don't spend that same amount of time trying to convince others to love you, either. You're good enough for the people who are good enough for you. Learn that, know that, remember that.

Always do more than what is required. There's always going to be someone out there who is working harder than you. Work so hard that no one can doubt you. Work so hard so that if in the end you shot for the moon, you'd land among the stars. Work so hard that you no longer have to introduce yourself. Always go the extra mile and always take the extra step, because it's better to do more than required of you than to wonder what it would have been like if you would've tried "just a little bit harder."

Don't work out because you hate your body, do it because you love it. It's fine to want to look good. It's fine to want your body to be built in your image but don't only work out to get skinnier or to be more muscular or to get curvier. Work out because you love your body. Work out because you appreciate how your body has helped you get through life. Work out to feel good rather than look good. Know that it's okay to work out for aesthetic purposes but don't workout solely for that reason or you'll never be satisfied. When you're obsessed with how you look, you're always going to imagine yourself looking better. But when you feel good, there's no doubt that you feel good.

Enjoy the process. When people ask you how you find motivation every day, be able to tell them that you never need to find your motivation because you never lose it. If you enjoy working out, if you truly fall in love with the journey rather than the results, you won't stop because it's climbing the mountain that you love rather than just getting to the top.

Know that there is no can or can't. There's always going to be steps in between that can take you where you want to go. Just because you're unable to do it now doesn't mean that you never can—hard work and dedication go a long way. Don't ever stop trying. Be known for working hard.

Always push yourself to the limit. Because then your best will always get better. "Go as far as you can see, and you'll always be able to see further." I know it's hard to stand at the base of the mountain, looking up, and seeing how far you have to go. But if you just climb a little bit at a time, eventually you will get there. And when you get to the top, you'll ask for obstacles, you'll ask to be thrown mountains to climb because you like the view from the top.

Be a junkie. A fitness junkie—your body is your home, so start treating it like it's your only home.

Get addicted. Get addicted to endorphins. Understand the feeling of ultimate happiness induced by sweat and hard work, it'll change your life.

Get high. On life—find euphoria in your successes.

I don't know if it's insecurity, I don't know what it is that makes people judge someone or hate someone else for their goals. But whatever it is, and if you're guilty of doing it—you need to stop. We need to teach ourselves and each other to empower one another rather than tear each other down in search of validity. There are things in life that we can't control, so we have to let those play out. But how we treat one another can [absolutely] be controlled.

Take the time to focus solely on yourself, but if you're going to think about other people—let your thoughts of others be filled with kindness and associated with assurance that you treat people right.

Because even if you have the audacity to think you're better than someone, know that every person deserves to be treated with kindness. A little bit of kindness can go a long way.

Don't acknowledge criticisms toward you, because what other people think about you is none of your business.

But...when people do judge you, criticize you, and hate you...don't reciprocate with hatred. Instead, return their harsh words with gentleness and affection. That will assure you're the better person. And I swear, kindness will take you so much further than hate will.