Don’t get defensive. Before you attack us, let us explain. Yes, admittedly, this is a generalization. We acknowledge the fact that somewhere out there, there are guys that don’t behave this way. The problem is, we have yet to find them. This in no way implies that women are perfect; we all have our faults. Through first hand experience and observation, the so-called “hookup culture” that has pervaded our generation has resulted in an inability to date and a lack of respect. While there is nothing wrong with women who want to express their sexual freedom, there is something wrong with the way they are treated. Why must you insist on ignoring us around campus and then sneaking around with us after dark? Why do you only reach out to us when you want someone to come over at the end of the night? Why do you bail on us when something better comes along? Don’t freak out. We aren’t necessarily asking for monogamy. Just, perhaps, to be more conscious of how your behavior is perceived and to be chivalrous; it will go a long way.
If we make plans with you, we expect you to honor them. Hypothetical “We should chill some time” plans that never seem to fall into place are unacceptable. It seems as though your flaky, forgetful moments are becoming a habit. We won’t stand for waiting around for you just to be cancelled on. There is nothing more devastating than having flawlessly styled hair and silky smooth, freshly-shaven legs, only to have plans broken for no good reason.
You have a tendency to pop in and out of our lives when it is convenient for you. We might not speak all school year, but once winter break rolls around (knowing we will both be home), you suddenly want to talk all the time. Not only is this manipulative, it is incredibly rude. It sends the message that, essentially, you have no regard for us as a person; all you care about is having a hookup for the short time we’ll be in the same place at the same time. Some consistency would be appreciated. It is unfair and confusing to us if you’re a part of our lives one minute, and then suddenly disappear without warning.
You never seem to have good intentions. You have mastered the art of saying what we want to hear. Statements like, “I just want to get to know you,” and “I’m not looking to hook up with a bunch of people” are usually dishonest. It seems as though our generation’s “hook-up culture” has led just about every guy to only want one thing. You’ll do anything in your power to get it, even if means playing mind games with us.
You disappoint us time after time. After years of dating, us girls have the same mindset. If things are going well, it seems too good to be true. “When is he going to show his true colors?” “When is he going to let me down?” Every fling seems to end poorly. Every guy seems to be just like the rest in the end.
Us girls aren’t asking for a lot. Don’t flatter yourself. Contrary to what you may believe, we do not want a relationship with or to fall madly in love with every guy we talk to. All we’re asking is for a certain level of respect. We’re not a 3 AM booty call. Our naked bodies are not something that you are entitled to. Maybe try to get to know us a little better. Maybe talk to us when you’re not black out drunk. Maybe buy us dinner every once in awhile (nothing fancy, Chipotle will do). If you're going to be intimate with us, we deserve to be treated a little more considerately (we are allowing you see the most vulnerable part of us, after all). You don’t have to be in a serious relationship with someone to be a companion, or a nice person for that matter. Respect us. Treat us as we deserve to be treated. That’s not so hard now, is it?