I ordered my first alcoholic drinks when I was studying abroad in Japan. Japan's legal drinking age is 20, but I opted to wait until I turned 21. My friends threw me and two other classmates a joint nomihodai (all-you-can-drink) birthday celebration at a very nice izakaya restaurant, followed by late-night karaoke. The drinks were sweet and delicious, the company was fun, and the peer pressure I was used to feeling in the U.S. was nearly nonexistent. It was a positive experience that made me comfortable enough to enjoy casual kickbacks with friends and yogurt soju mixing with my boyfriend after I returned to the U.S.
My acceptance of alcohol wasn’t that big of a deal to me, but for some reason, it was a big deal to everyone around me. Friends and family members went insane with astoundment as if it was unbelievable that people can, you know, change their minds about certain things. "OMG LOOK BRYANNA JUST CONSUMED ALCOHOL!" Yes, I'm aware, thank you...let's move on.
I initially intended to avoid alcohol when I started college. It sparked so many questions along the lines of, "Why won't you drink? Why don't you like it? Why won't you try it?"
I had plenty of reasons why I chose not to drink: I dislike the taste of alcohol, I feel uncomfortable about substances that hinder my awareness, I could think of 100 other ways to pass the time and socialize...I joked that I already act drunk and crazy while sober (which is true, college made me feel freer to express my weird unfiltered self around friends without fearing judgment). These reasons sounded good enough for me, but apparently not enough for people around me. Some called me “stubborn,” “close-minded” or “no fun.” Apparently drinking is a very “adult” thing to do, so I was immature for choosing not to.
“Because I don’t want to.”
“But that’s not a reason!” the naysayers accused.
“It’s just my personal choice,” I replied, trying to end the conversation there.
“That’s just an excuse. You HAVE to drink AT LEAST once in your life!” They were very determined to drag this out.
Their arguments grew less convincing every time and made me want to actively avoid alcohol because the heavy air of peer pressure evident in American drinking culture made me feel upset, isolated and wrong. I was so tired of feeling that way. My list of reasons to justify my choice eventually devolved into "because everyone expects it of me and I want to prove them wrong." To make a statement. To break the stereotype. But I felt so alone in my choice because expectation to drink and party in college is so strong that it overshadows the people who aren't really into that.
If I felt so strongly about drinking culture, why did I change my mind about my choice? Actually, that's the reason: I realized that it was a choice, not an expectation, and that it was my choice, not someone else's. Why do I have to justify myself to others when whatever liquids I pour down my throat have nothing to do with them? I don't have to. If I decided to drink, I wanted it to be because I wanted to, not because I feel like I have to. And that's what I did.
Alcohol itself (in moderation) is not bad, but the drinking culture and peer pressure on U.S. college campuses can be toxic. If someone you know tells you they don't want to drink, please don't push them or dismiss their reasoning. And if you're someone who opts out of the alcohol scene, you don't have to feel ashamed or afraid because it's your personal choice. Ignore the naysayers. You do you.
