Being called a player is a compliment, while being called a slut is an insult. Why is it that when guys are making out and having sex with multiple girls they are players or ‘getting it’. When girls are making out and having sex with multiple guys they are sluts and whores, hoes and considered ‘easy’. None of these assumptions are fair. You don’t need to use a vagina to be a slut, you just are one. The Whisper app allows people to write confessions and post them anonymously. One says, “If you like sex you’re a slut/ player and if you don’t you are a loser, liar, or can’t get anybody to sleep with you. No matter what people will always judge you for your sex life or lack thereof.” Tumblr has a great quote as well, “’slut’ is attacking women for their right to say yes. ‘Friend Zone’ is attacking women for their right to say no.”
If I get drunk and go to a party and make out with some guy I am NOT a slut. It doesn’t mean I am insecure or unsure of myself. What I choose to do is up to me. I’m not ‘used’ or ‘worthless’ due to my actions. I am a person and I am valued. I have not had sex; however even if I had I don’t deserve hate from friends or strangers regarding my own actions and decisions. A ‘friend’ told me this morning I needed to stop “slutting around” while the guys who make out with and have sex with a bunch of girls are simply, “testing what is on the lot.” Another guy friend told me he didn’t want some other guy’s ‘leftovers’. I’m not a car. Other girls are not cars. I’m not here to test drive and be called a slut. I make my own choices and decisions. I do what I want to do. My friends and strangers do not have the right to label me, only I can do that.
If I want to go to a party and made out with a guy I can do that. I don’t have to have feelings or be in a relationship with a guy to make out with him. There is this assumption that women have to have feelings towards a guy if they are making out with them. This is so not true.
But how do I explain it to my friends? “Oh, I was drunk, blame it on the alcohol.” How do men explain it to their friends? “Oh, I wanted her.”
Bottom line: I’m not a slut. I’m not a player. You're a player if you play with people's emotions and feelings by leading them on by pretending to like them. That is being a player. Let people live their lives. Worry about you and your choices. Make sure your friends are okay and making safe choices (aka have condoms for friends who may text you and ask for one at 2 in the morning). Other than that don’t judge people and their actions; and if all else fails just yell “eh, college” and shrug it off.
