In the Myers-Briggs test, the first letter people are “assigned,” so to speak, is either an E or I- extroverted or introverted. While most people are neither fully one or the other, there are some of us that fall very near the middle. We are the ambiverts, though I prefer extroverted-introvert because then people actually know what you’re saying, or trying to say, about your personality. Here are some of the struggles with being an extroverted introvert (or introverted extrovert):
1. Some people think you’re an extrovert when they first meet you.
We like meeting people. People are fun to talk to and be around--sometimes. So when you easily start a conversation with that random guy in the lobby of your dorm because he’s sitting alone, people think you love being around people all. the. time.
2. Because people initially think you’re an extrovert, they get super concerned when they see the introverted side of you.
Extroverts talk and talk and talk and talk, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But when people think you’re an extrovert and then you start showing your introverted side, the question of “are you OK?” never stops. Which generally only makes you annoyed, and therefore more introverted. It can be a vicious cycle sometimes.
3. Other people think you’re an introvert when they first meet you.
We don’t like meeting people. People can be loud, annoying and obnoxious- sometimes. When you sit in the corner by yourself and several people come up to be your friends because they feel bad for you, they think you’re quiet and reclusive all. the. time.
4. Because people initially think you’re an introvert, they freak out when you’re extroverted side comes out.
Introverts are very quiet people. Again, nothing wrong with that. But when people think you’re a quiet introvert and all of a sudden you’re loud extroverted side comes screaming out, they might very possibly go into a stage of shock where all they can say is “Wow I didn’t know you could talk so much.”
5. Sometimes you’re the life of the party-- other times not so much.
Let’s be honest, parties can be fun and an awesome way to relax. Dancing with friends, meeting new people, eating lots and lots of (unhealthy) food--it’s all fun and games for a couple of hours. Then what you really want to do is go home and curl up in a ball because these people are being way too loud. Sometimes, you need time to get a feel for a party and warm up first before jumping in and living it up. Or you sit in the corner the whole time because you just aren’t feeling people.
6. Small talk is one of the worst things in the history of mankind.
What even is small talk other than the most awkward thing you’ve ever attempted in your life? Does it even have a point, other than making all parties involved awkward and uncomfortable? It always feel super artificial as well.
7. Right after small talk, awkward silences are the worst.
Awkward silences are just…awkward. Few things are worse than just sitting next to someone in complete and utter silence. Silence is nice, but not when you’re with other people. So if it’s the choice between awkward small talk and awkward silences, small talk is the lesser of two evils.
8. The idea of going out on Friday nights is nice, while the actual effort of going out can be too much.
Sure, going to see a movie or grabbing a meal late Friday night sounds like fun. Yes, my friends are nice and I know they won’t drag me to some horrible place that is sketchy. Staying in bed alone and reading a book or watching Netflix just sounds like the better option.
9. Sometimes you need to be around people, sometimes you’re better left to yourself.
There’s value in being with others. People are amazing and joyous to be around. There’s also equal value in being by yourself. Extroverted Introverts have “people batteries” and sometimes we need to recharge (Alone in our rooms for at least eight hours with little disturbance).
10. When you’re around people for too long, sometimes you have to leave ASAP.
It can hurt people’s feelings if y’all are all hanging around and having a great time when suddenly you have to leave because people are starting to overwhelm you. They take it personally the fact that you’ve “peopled out” and think they did something wrong. On the contrary, you just need your space or bad things may happen.
11. Social interaction depends a lot on the environment you’re in.
Social gatherings are seriously hit or miss scenarios. If you’re on the same wavelength with a person or group, then it’s easy to draw social energy from them and so you’re extroverted colors. On the other hand, social gatherings can be a big drain on your “people batteries” and then you start to get annoyed and/or overwhelmed.
12. Articles like “12 signs you’re an extrovert/introvert” can be annoying and confusing.
You start to read them and go “Yea, I’m an extrovert” and then you read the introverted one and go “Oh… I’m an introvert too…?” Or you find that you don’t quite fit in either. Minor identity crisis/questioning if you really know who you are proceeding in 3… 2… 1.
13. Managing being both an introvert and an extrovert is a constant inner struggle.
You want to stay in, but you want to go out. When you’re acting extroverted, your introverted side is constantly over analyzing every little detail. When you’re acting introverted, you’re extroverted side starts to freak out from the lack of social interaction. You can end up sitting in a ball on the floor with a thought process along the lines of “I just want to be alone. But I want to go talk to people. What if they don’t want me to come talk to them? Surely there’s someone out there who is free to hang. No, they’re all too busy for me, I’ll just stay in here. But I really wanna go talk to people.”
In reality, extroversion and introversion are not two separate things, but more of a measurement. Some of us just lie a bit too close to the middle. Extroverted Introvert out!
