I've recently graduated from college, and I'm back in my hometown. I'm away from everyone I knew in college, and am within miles of the people I grew up with from elementary school on. Knowing this got me thinking. There were so many people that I was close to at one point in my life that I haven't had contact with in years. And in the age of social media, that seems incredibly rare.

I've thought about how people often say that growing apart is natural. But at the age of 21, I feel like I've barely done much growing let alone the growing that alienates me from people who I cared about. At this age, I've had three types of friends. The few I still talk to, the few that I avoid at all costs because they make life difficult, and the friends that I was once very close to but haven't spoken to in years, but still think of fondly. (The majority fall into the ladder).

A lot of us don't reach out to people from our past for many reasons. Maybe there's some bad blood, maybe we're afraid of what they other will say or think. Maybe we're worried that we'll come off desperate, or maybe we're convinced that the people from our past are better off without us.

Whatever the reason, I'm willing to take the risk. So to everyone one who used to consider me a friends, no matter how long it's been since we've spoken, I didn't forget you. I appreciate you and the time we spent together. And I may be embarrassed to admit it, most importantly of all, I miss you.

More embarrassing to admit, I know what went wrong with our friendship. Or at the very least, a big factor in its end. It was me. It was my fear of being close to someone. It was my assumption that I wasn't very important to you anyway. It was my stubborn nature that decided to see less and less of you before you decided you wanted to see less and less of me.

So to anyone who used to consider me a friend of theirs, I miss you. And I haven't forgotten about you. I'm just scared to reach out because I'm afraid of what you'll think. But know that I've grown and realized how important friendship is. And if I am ever lucky enough to have you in my life again, I promise I wouldn't let it go the way I did before.

To the people of my past, I hope to reconnect with you soon. If not now, one day. I hope to hear from you, even if it's just to say hello. And to everyone with close friends, hold them tight and don't let them go. Work at it. Tell them how much they mean to you. It may be hard, but trust me, it'll be harder to live without them.