2016. What a strange, whirlwind, mess of a year. I keep waiting to wake up and realize it was all a surreal dream, a midnight snack-induced nightmare. I have experienced the highest of high's and the lowest of low's. Words I shared privately became internet-creep fodder, and thoughts I published freely were attempted to be silenced. I realized that to some people I am nothing more than an idea, a concept that is too frightening to ponder on once it becomes real. But to others, I am much more. People who I thought were my friends didn't let the door hit them on the way out, and strangers became friends. I made startling revelations about myself and others and I took chances: I stepped outside the bounds of my dream-catcher.
I could dwell on all the health issues, break-ups, betrayals, tears, and troubles I've had this year. To be truthful, at times I have. But looking forward, I will not. Because if I do, 2016 will win. So instead, with just three weeks left in this crazy year, I'm choosing to focus on the positive.
During spring break, I was able to dust off my passport and travel to Costa Rica, a trip I will never forget. I have held a starfish in my bare hands, I have touched the wide expanse of the Pacific Ocean, and I have experienced the pura vida lifestyle that only Costa Rica can offer.
I started writing for the Odyssey in May, and this site became a platform that allowed me to express myself freely and share my thoughts and opinions to a wide population of readers. Writing has helped me work through so many of the adversities I have faced over the past year, and I have grown exponentially as a writer and person because of it. I know now that being silent is not the same as being happy, and looking towards the future, I will continue to use creativity as a major stress outlet in my life.
I have also discovered who my true friends are. They are the people that comforted me in my times of need, the people that saw through my problems and helped me to realize that nothing is insurmountable. They are the people I plan ice cream dates with, the people who have never gotten tired of me, the people who have stuck by my side through it all. I couldn't have made it through 2016 without them, and I am so grateful to have had this time with them.
This year, I learned that giving of yourself rather than focusing on yourself can be healing. My problems are not in any way the worst in the world, and getting out into the community helped me see that. I turned my focus towards helping others and making a difference in their lives, which was a huge turning point in my own. I was fortunate enough to receive a grant for a community service organization I helped to found, and since then, putting others before myself has become a huge priority in my life.
Lastly, despite all of the difficulties I have encountered over the past year, I have finally come to realize my own self-worth. I know now that I do not deserve to be stepped on or put down, and that the power to be happy and strong lies within myself. I now try to push myself outside of my comfort zone, stand up for what I believe in, and do the things that make me feel good without consulting anyone else. It has become apparent that I must exist in this world on my own terms, and that loving myself is the greatest love I will ever know.
So, with that being said, to 2016: thank you.
