Relationships are one of the toughest things in the world, yet they are also one of the most rewarding things in the world. I often hear people say that they could never do a long-distance relationship. People often tell me "good luck" sarcastically as if they want to say "it won't last" but won't actually say those words. I admit that I never really pictured myself in a long distance relationship, sure I talked to a few guys out of state but I always just figured I'd end up with someone in my own city because I thought long distance would be too much for me. Then one day I met a man who turned out to be much more than just a little text-fling. I fell in love! I fell in love for the first time and I was ready to take on all of the FaceTime dates and the Snapchats!
Some days it’s easy. He works when I have class, and when I don’t work we stay at home and have a FaceTime date. And when I do work, he stayed at home waiting for me to get off work to FaceTime, of course. Other days it’s tough. There’s a lot of jealousy in a long distance relationship, and I’ll admit that 51 percent of the time it’s me. And by 51 percent of the time, I mean like 90 percent of the time. Like, who is that girl that’s liking your pics? Why is she liking them? Why does she even know my boyfriend exists? Why does she follow him? He’s unfollowing her and every other female. But after some time, the jealousy calmed down and I’d say I’m at about a solid 87 percent on the jealousy scale now.
It's true, long-distance isn't for everyone. It requires a whole lot of trust and patience and a willingness from both sides to make it work. I feel as though I’m a long-distance relationship expert now (just kidding, more like a veteran or something), and it’s my job to help all the other brave souls who have decided to take part in the craziness that is long-distance dating.
1. Communication
I can't stress this enough. Communication really is key in every relationship, not just long-distance ones. I’m not saying you have to communicate 24 hours a day, your SO has things to do other than talking to you all day, like work. (I know, crazy right? Like I AM your day job bae). You have to allow yourself some time to miss your SO and let them work and make money to buy you stuff. It’s great.
2. Facetime/Skype Dates
If possible, make this a thing frequently. FaceTime your SO when you wake up. FaceTime them before you go to bed. Better yet, go to sleep while on FaceTime and just wake up together. Make FaceTime your bestie during your time apart.
3. Visiting
Don’t let a few months go by without seeing your SO. Keep the flame alive, visit each other often otherwise you’ll die from separation anxiety and your SO doesn’t want that. Neither do you. But really, it’s important to visit each other as often as possible. You don’t have the luxury of seeing them every day so those little weekend trips you plan to go see them really help the relationship, not to mention it’s like getting butterflies every single time. Every. Single. Time. I still get butterflies (shoutout to bae and me for keeping the flame alive).
4. Reassurance
Make sure you’re reassuring each other. It’s nice to let the other person know that you’re still as crazy about them as you were before, and you wouldn’t let anyone come in between you two. Let them know how lucky you are to have them and that you love them. Sometimes just hearing “I love you” is reassuring enough. Guys throw in "you're beautiful" once in a while, the ladies love it. And do it more than once in a while. Let her know pretty often because she is beautiful and probably thinks you're the hottest thing on this planet. Ladies same for you, let him know he's handsome because just look at him?!
5. Compromise
This is every relationship. IF YOUR SO DOESN’T LIKE IT, DON’T DO IT. I never liked my boyfriend going to bars, he doesn’t go. He didn’t like me going to clubs, so I don’t go. Now not every relationship is like this and I’m not saying that you can’t have any friends during this relationship. In ANY relationship, you need to respect the other person you’re with if that means they don’t like you going to bars/clubs then by golly you don’t go. Find something else to do with friends, sorry not sorry.
Last but not least, my last tip would be just to let things happen. Like in any relationship. You can’t force someone to love you or to be loyal to you, but you’ll notice the effort when your SO is giving it. It’s not easy, no these tips won’t make it perfect, every relationship is different. Find what works for you and your SO and may you have many years of happiness and cute babies.
