So your kid is starting college.
Although 18 years seemed like it flew by, the day is finally here: your kid is leaving the nest and beginning the path to his or her future. I know it feels like just yesterday when you took your son or daughter to their first day of kindergarten, but those days are over and a new phase of their life is about to begin. When I left for college, my parents and I had no idea what to expect, but we learned a few things from experience along the way. Whether you’re a first-time college parent or just need a refresher course, here a few tips to make sure you both have the best experience possible:
1. Don’t be a helicopter parent.
Your son or daughter is an adult now! Please don’t constantly bombard them with questions about what they’re doing, who they’re with if they’re staying on top of school things, etc. At some point, they’re going to have to learn how to make their own choices and learn from their own mistakes. Hovering will only make them want to tell you less.
2. Make sure they’re following their dreams, not yours.
An almost inevitable aspect of college: your child is going to change his or her major at least one time during their college career. Don’t freak out! It’s perfectly normal, and better to change now while they still have the chance than to regret their major after graduation. Don’t shame them for it or make them question themselves even more. This is their future we’re talking about, not yours.
3. Answer the phone when they call.
No matter how old we get, college kids still want to talk to Mom or Dad occasionally. Make sure you always set aside some time to listen to how the semester is going, all about the friends they’ve made and the classes they’re taking and give them an update on what home has been like since they left. With all of the chaos going on in our daily lives, it helps keep us grounded.
4. Send them a couple bucks every now and then.
WE’RE BROKE! PLEASE SEND MONEY! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
5. Be understanding when they're home for a break.
By the time the holidays roll around, college kids have already spent at least an entire semester away from home, so it’s hard to get back into the groove of not being in charge of ourselves anymore. We’re not used to a lot of the house rules anymore (including our curfew), so please be understanding with us while we try to get used to it again.
6. Support their education.
This is the overall most important thing to keep in mind when your child is starting college for the first time. School is a huge commitment, so please support us every step of the way. Whether we’re freaking out about classes, money, or our futures, please reassure us that you’re here to support us and our education no matter what.
College is a wonderful time to explore the world around us and meet a variety of people, so keep that in mind while you’re sending your son or daughter away to school. They’ll miss you just as much as you miss them, but make sure you’re doing everything you can to give both your child and yourself the best possible experience. This is a crucial part in their futures, so just continue to do what you do best: love them. They’ll be OK, I promise.
