Many people believe that long distance relationships will never going work out. Your family may discourage it and some of your friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you may get your heart broken. The extra distance makes many things unachievable. Life can get complicated, and you could feel sad and lonely at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, like being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, a kissy face that isn’t an emoji, or just simply riding in the car together— these small, everyday moments could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship. Though these relationships may get rough, they have their own surprises. To keep your love alive and strong, here are 10 tips to make your long distance relationship work.
1. See things as an opportunity rather than a necessity.
Being away from one another is an opportunity to really know the other person. You are forced to have a conversation if you want to spend time with them. Talking on the phone doesn’t have to be scary or awkward. You get the chance to really listen to each other, whether it be about their dreams, their favorite meals, family stories, or even just how their day went. Communication is the most important part of every relationship!
2. Make time to visit one another.
These are the highlights of the relationship, especially when it’s a surprise. You get to see the light in that person’s eyes like the first time you met all over again. This keeps the spark from fading like it would if you see the person every second of every day.
3. Set goals.
It’s important to talk about what each of you want out of life. What about the future? Where will your education/career/lives take you? Do you two plan on moving in with one another? The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down. Make a timeline, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
4. Enjoy your alone time.
You may be alone, but you don't have to be lonely, unless you choose to feel like it. Your life does not have to revolve around your significant other. Take this time to spoil yourself- go to the gym more often, binge-watch your favorite shows, and spend time with your friends. Learn about yourself and what you enjoy, so that you can enjoy those things with your partner later.
5. Stay honest.
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy and whatever else. If you try to hide anything, the secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. You don’t have to try to deal with things by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you long for. It is definitely better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to disclose it when it’s too late. Once again, (because I cannot stress this enough) communication is the most important part of every relationship!
6. Learn each other’s schedules.
It’s good to know when your partner is busy so that you don’t try to call them in the middle of something. It’s also super important to remember when something big is happening like an audition, job interview or big test for example. Giving them words of encouragement when they wake up or asking if they nailed it shows that you really care.
7. Keep track of each other on social media.
Notice when they post something that is going on with their life and talk with them about. Notice the things that they share- that’s what interests them and makes them smile. This can help with a rough spot in the future. Also share things with them that you know they would love to see, like cute videos of clumsy puppies.
8. Gift something sentimental for them to hold on to.
Mailing them a care package of sorts with some cute note like “Side by side or miles apart…” Include a few of their favorite things and something they can keep with them that will remind them of you every time they look at it.
9. Facetime/Skype/etc. whenever possible.
Being able to see their facial expressions when they talk can be all you need to brighten your day or night. It means so much to actually see them smile when you compliment them. Plus it’s reassuring to know that you can make each other smile after all this time.
10. Stay positive.
One good trick to staying positive is to always be grateful. Be thankful that you have someone to love- someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, and be thankful for each other’s health and safety. Yes, the waiting can be excruciating, but the end result will all be worth while.
