In this day and age, true love is only one swipe away. Tinder has provided college students everywhere with the unique opportunity to declare attraction towards one another with a simple thumb swipe to the right. If you and another person swipe right on each other, then you will match and have the opportunity to engage in awkward conversations, usually initiated by a pick-up line of some sort. Sometimes, you go to class the next day only to find that three of your Tinder matches are in your 9 a.m. and they all sit together and you avoid eye contact while you slowly but surely die on the inside.
I may or may not be drawing from personal experience, but that's beside the point. And in my personal experience, I find that most activities can be enhanced in two key ways. One way is by making a game out of it. The second is, of course, by adding alcohol. Combine the two and we achieve the ever-so-enchanting drinking game. So, I gathered all my wine resources, sat down and conducted some swiping immersive research, and conjured up what I believe to be a game worthy of college apartments everywhere the Olympics: The Tinder Drinking Game. You guys didn't ask for it, but here it is. Enjoy.
Drink every time one of the following happens:
1. A guy has his height in his bio
As someone whose 12-year-old brother is taller than her, my height has never been something to boast about. However, guys on Tinder take pride in every last inch, and to that, I salute you.
2. You see the word "Tinderella"
People are either looking for their Tinderella or looking to be someone else's Tinderella. If the shoe fits, swipe right on it.
3. Someone "Super Likes" you
If people use one of their limited "Super Like" swipes on you, then you should celebrate. You're cute and funny and special and you deserve it.
4. Someone's picture is of him/her at the gym
Pick-Up Line: It must be cardio day for you, because you've been running around in my head all day.
5. You see someone holding a dog/cat/any cute animal
And then immediately swipe right with zero hesitation. Even if there's no spark, you still have a chance at finding puppy love.
6. You see someone holding a fish
Important: This is not to be treated the same as #5. This is an automatic swipe left in my book, but to each his/her own. If you're looking for a date with some bait, then cast that pick-up line. I hope you catch reel feelings. As for me, there are plenty of fishless fish in my Tinder Sea.
7. Someone from one of your classes comes up
Now you're faced with the daunting decision: swipe right and risk a semester of awkward encounters for a chance at harmless flirting or swipe left on a potential romance? Talk about star-crossed lovers.
8. You think you might have found your soulmate
Or, at least someone who you can see yourself talking to for the next few months, going on some dates, deleting Tinder for when you start dating and then probably eventually breaking up with. At that point, you can download Tinder again and the process will start over. Did I mention that I'm a hopeless romantic?
9. At any point during the course of the game, one of your matches messages you
I'm talking about any match and each individual message you receive. Keep in mind to proceed with a proportionate amount of caution the longer you've been playing the game. Drunk Tinder messages are just as bad if not worse than drunk text messages. However, unlike life, you can unmatch with them and probably never see them again. Unless you swiped right in rule #7. Then maybe you can drop the class.
10. You swipe left for an oddly specific reason
I trust all of you to hold yourselves accountable to this rule. I just swiped left because I don't like the mutual friend I shared with someone. Guilty by association. Love is a battlefield, Tinder is a war zone and swiping left is all we've got in this dog-eat-dog world. Keep your standards high and your swiping thumb limber.
11. Optional Rule: You match with someone
Maybe take tiny sips for this rule.
I urge all of you 21 and over to grab your nearest bottle of wine and cell phone charger, because it's time to start playing. Just remember: Swipe responsibly.
