I start my reflection on my last night here in Granada. My time here has been a life-changing journey to say the least. How can I describe my 137 day journey in a single article? My answer always ranges from “there will never be enough words” to “no words will do the experience justice.” Study abroad did not just push me outside of my comfort zone, it drop kicked me 100 yards and then hailed me a taxi to Timbuktu. There were moments of exhilaration, fascination, and at times a peculiar spiritual enlightenment to the beauty I was seeing in the world but no true study abroad reflection could withhold the feelings of depression, loneliness and ambiguity that goes along with it. This is not to disparage the experience of study abroad, but my honest account of my experience.

Unfortunately, your emotional state can go a bit downhill on study abroad, especially in the beginning. Being halfway across the world with a nine hour time difference between my friends and family was incredibly difficult for me. There was also the stress of trying to speak a new language at all times. At the start of my program, I did not have any close friends and it was my first time going anywhere without a soccer team to easily make new ones. I was also the first of my friend group to start my program so when I wanted to vent about my day they would be asleep. Admittedly, there were some tear-filed Facetime calls to my best friend and family during those first couple weeks. Eventually, after going to a local Granada soccer game and getting closer to some of the people in my classes, I started to feel more comfortable in my new home.

So many ranging emotions in so little time fosters a unique environment for character development and friendships in study abroad circles. You can meet people in hostels for one day and feel like you have known them forever. The person you sat next to on the first day of class can end up becoming your future bridesmaid, when the occasion does arise. You will never forget the bonds forged in new countries, seeing beautiful castles and churches behind a hidden corner or happening upon that one heavy metal bar with the best and cheapest calimocho you have ever had. This unfortunately culminates to the bittersweet end of ending study abroad, when you are ready to go back home but know you will never be as close to your friends, in distance, as you were in Europe.

Traveling alone was also something totally new for me. Before study abroad, I had never flown a plane by myself before but once I made my first solo flight across the Atlantic, I knew I was ready. I was going against my mother’s wishes traveling alone (sorry Mom) but I knew if I did not take this chance now, I might never have it again. When else in my life could I guarantee time to travel while being single, with no children, and no major responsibilities to hold me back? To be completely honest these were some of my favorite trips because I did not have to cater to another person’s wants and needs, I had the opportunity to be completely spontaneous.

Study abroad is not just for the likes you get on Instagram, although thank you to everyone who liked my photos, you are all MVPs in my book, it is about the experiences and connections you make. Thankfully this reflection has helped me summarize the last five months of my life even better. In sum, if study abroad was a person it would be that really hot trainer with a British accent at the gym who you start to hate at the beginning of your workouts. You are sweating like a pig and your whole body is sore, even the muscles you never knew you had, but then as you start to see your abs coming in you start to appreciate and love the challenges that he presents. Most of all, my study abroad taught me that I can do anything.