Finals suck. They're that magical time of year when literally everyone on campus wants to cry. You, your best friends, your roommate, your bio partner, and even your professors are probably crying at this very moment over the sheer hatred and disdain they have for a week of tests. However, no one can feel the stress of finals as badly as a first-semester freshman. Ah, the freshest and newest minds on campus whose only introduction to college so far has been free t-shirts and having a Dunkin' Donuts within 30 seconds of you at all times. However, it's only fair that the more seasoned students on campus give some helpful hints to the newbies on what these next two weeks will really mean. Sure, every college study course and tutoring session will tell you to use four different highlighters on your notes and get a good night's sleep. While those tips are (obviously) important, there are a few other things to know before test day arrives, as told by the happiest of happy things in the world: Disney gifs:
1. Don't be fooled by that lull between classes ending and your study session for finals.
AKA the biggest tease to winter break ever. During these lazy few days, you truly want nothing more than to ditch the books, call up your hometown friends, and get lost in a good, old-fashion Netflix binge. Breaking Bad and chemistry are basically the same thing, right?
2. When the sleep deprivation hits you at 3 a.m, you'll look like this:
And it's a violent hit. Think: less playful shove and more collision with a semi-truck.When you've pulled three all-nighters in a row and your only source of energy is the double-shot of espresso in your morning Starbucks cup, you tend to start looking like Boo here.
3. Odds are your professors will only lecture you the entire semester and leave all of your assignments and papers due for the last week of class.
You had 14 WEEKS to give us homework. But no, let's leave the important stuff until the very, very end so all of those pretty due dates can get all tangled and overlapped.
4. P.S. Winter Break is only 2 weeks long...
Yes, that "amazing" winter break that everyone anticipates sleeping and partying during is a little over-hyped. It's two weeks without homework or responsibilities, but it could probably be a little longer. Sorry to break your hearts, freshman.
5. Enjoy walking into your test with hands like:
One of the worst parts of finals is really that long trek to the classroom. It's cold, probably snowing, and all you can think about it how warm your hands could be cradled around a steaming mug of hot chocolate with all the fixin's. Instead, you get to grip a nice, pointy #2 and fill out a scantron.
6. Stress eating turns into a daily thing and is completely fine.
There are no diets during finals. Period. You lunch and dinner basically become whatever vending machine delights you decide are the most appealing that day. And that's totally okay. If there is one thing that Mean Girls taught all of us girls, it's that eating our feelings is 100% acceptable.
7. When your professor doesn't give you a review for the exam, you'll probably want to be like:
This will happen to you a lot. Someone had to tell you.
8. Instead, they'll mention the same relatively easy lessons over and over and you just want to shout:
Yes, it is very clear to me that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. Could we talk about something, ehrmm, more relevant to the test? Cool, thanks.
9. Expect to be so on-edge and moody that you respond to even the slightest annoyances like:
I apologize in advance to every cashier, Dunkin' Donuts employee, and innocent bystander that has to feel my finals stress-induced rage. Thank you for not calling me out on it and always having a smile on your faces. Some heroes don't wear capes.
10. When you actually get to the exam, you'll probably want to do this:
The best option is to run because, I swear, those exams can smell fear.
11. Ignore those annoying people who brag about how much free time they had to study.
This is often the same person who likes to tell everyone they're from (insert pretentious town/county/state here) and drives a (insert luxury brand car here). Guess what, we don't care about either of those things or the fact that all of your classes got cancelled so you had time to make three study guides and a stack of flashcards. Just don't.
12. When your parents/professors/literally anyone not in college tells you you're over-exaggerating about how much work you have to do:
The hidden beauty of finals is that it is the global connection between college students all across the globe. We, the students, are the only ones who truly understand the struggle of cramming four months of information into a handful of study sessions. Everyone else, unfortunately, will not know the struggle.
13. Make sure you talk to that one friend who can always snap you out of whatever panic attack or meltdown you may have just had:
We've all got that one friend. It's probably the same one that tells you when that dress is so not your color or makes you reconsider that third slice of pizza. Whatever blatantly honest remarks they make the other 50 weeks of the year, this is their time to shine. Make calling them your *top* priority.
14. You should probably get used to saying goodbye to people you know you'll never see again:
It's admittedly very weird to think that you're only seeing someone in your class for half the time you did last year in high school. But, odds are you'll see them around and have to internally decide whether to make awkward eye contact/quick small talk with them around campus. It's the circle of college life.
15. And when you've finally submitted the last exam:
Just like the phoenix rises from it's ashes, you will absolutely, 100% survive finals. Even at those points when you want to crawl under a rock, call it a night, and consider dropping out to pursue a career in professional mermaiding (Google it, it's a thing), you will inevitably take your exams, ace them, and keep on keeping on.
