To those currently hurting, I strongly empathize with you. You might be confused and are still processing what happened, or you might have already processed it. You might even feel hopeless or worthless and feel like you are never going to recover. It is completely okay to go into a deep dark hole and cry yourself a river. It is perfectly fine to not feel anything at all. Either way this is the time to be selfish. Whether you are going through a break up, or you lost a loved one or you went through something traumatic- just know that you will eventually see the light. You will climb out of this and when you look back, it will be a blurry faded memory. Here are little baby steps that might help you through these hard times.
1. Get rid of everything that is a reminder.
This might be really hard to do, but you really don't need to be surrounded by that kind of negativity. Out of sight, out of mind. Obviously it is not that easy, but it is a baby step.
2. Find yourself a confidant(s).
This is the person that is going to help you through this, the person who will only see the good in you. They might be your best friend or parents or your significant other. Talking to someone about it does not mean whatever happened is going to change, but it will relieve the pressure you feel in your chest.
3. Curl up in bed and cry your eyes out.
Crying is not for the weak, and crying is not just for girls. It is a human emotion that everyone experiences. This does not make you pathetic. Take your time. We all heal at our own pace. Cry it out. You will feel better.
4. Accept what happened.
You might be angry or sad or in denial. Or all of the above. But allow yourself to feel all these emotions, and take your time. Gear your emotions toward accepting what happened. It is over, it is in the past and there is nothing you can do about it.
5. Find something else to focus on.
Do not let this consume your life. Find a hobby. Find what helps you feel better. Maybe you can start diary writing or dancing or singing or running. Release the toxicity from your body and mind.
6. Get yourself a copy of Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur.
This woman knows what pain is. Every poem somehow is relatable, and she will take you through the whole journey from hurting to healing. So no matter what kind of hurt you are feeling, she got you. Here is a poem I find so simple yet so pure.
7. Binge watch Friends.
You might have already seen the show, but watch it again. This sitcom is the answer to all your questions and all your problems. I wish I could explain it better, but I just don't really know how to. Just watch the show.
8. Now get rid of those who do not wish well for you.
This is extremely important. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care for you. You are already in a dark place, so don't let others drag you down even more. Surround yourself with optimists and motivators and enablers.
9. Feel through music.
Music heals the soul. Listen to music that makes you feel some type of way. Those are the best songs that put you in the best moods. I would highly suggest listening to Kodaline :)
10. Believe that time will heal things.
It might be hard to see it now, and trust me I know. Just believe that time does wonders. I hope whatever happened, hurts a little less now. You might never forget it, but time will relieve your pain.
Everyone's pain is different and incomparable, but you know yourself the best. So hang in there fellow peers. This is the time to find yourself and unleash your hidden potential. Believe in yourself. You got this!
