My quaint room in the basement of Pioneer Hall measures about eighteen by twenty one feet -- or 378 square feet, for those living in spacious, on-campus apartments who enjoy hearing about the tight-quarters they previously occupied as freshmen. We have space for a single bunk bed, a single loft and little space for anything else. The room is crushed under the three floors of dorm dwellers above, and the windows peak right above a dugout trench on the side of Pioneer. This way we would survive any engulfing fire that might come Pio's way.
Little sunlight finds its way down that cut in on the side of the building, so the room is often dark. The ceilings hang low, and the floor is without a lot of internal lighting, not that there's room for it anyways. We managed to construct a reasonably sized futon in the cramped quarters though, so chalk one up for college-living ingenuity. In short, the room fits three very snuggly.
Without a lot of individual breathing room or any space for activities, it's hard for a lot of people to comprehend the living situation when I tell them that myself and my two roommates (whom I've known since middle school) are all in three different chapters on campus. Needless to say, this is a unique situation. Others tend to think that with three fraternities represented in a space so small, fights, arguments or senseless bickering are bound to break out. The idea, according to those above the basement, is that we all live a precarious life, walking on eggshells with each other as to avoid fraternity-related conflicts.
This isn't exactly the case. However, with little space for individuality in the tight 21 by 18 dorm, there is absolutely no space for ego to flourish. From my experience, the best way to live with guys of other houses are as follows.
To begin, you must learn your boundaries. The best way to start conflict is to compare chapters; this is a major no-no. It's ridiculous to think you won't have your own personal bias when it comes to chapters, so it's equally ridiculous to think you can objectively compare your own chapter with another, especially if you have to sleep in the same bunk bed as that person later on. The room's lack of space is only shrunken down when you invite awkward relationships with your roommates in. Avoid this at all costs.
Secondly, allow for your fellow roommates and fraternity-associated colleagues to have their own experience. Senselessly pushing your own ideals of what the perfect fraternity experience should be is fruitless. No two chapters are the same, so telling your buddy that his chapter should do “x" and “y" is needless. Have fun with your own fraternity brothers and enjoy the time you have with them! After that, nothing matters. What your roommate's fraternity does and what your own fraternity does are two completely separate worlds for all you should be concerned. Keep it that way.
The next piece of advice is to work on your relationships with your roommates first. Don't be afraid to stay in some nights and watch a movie or hang out with them, especially if they are already your friends. Along with this idea, you're going to share your stories and experiences with them, but remember to skip the details when they aren't necessary.
Finally, enjoy your time with them and keep a sense of humor. Don't be worried about the do's and don'ts or the technicalities associated with a relationship that could potentially be complicated. You don't need to walk on eggshells even if people outside of the living situation believe you should. Make your experience your own, enjoy Greek life and enjoy your life outside of Greek life. The two don't always need to cross. Humor goes along with this; if you take your situation too seriously, especially if you live in a basement of a hundred-year-old building, you might lose it. Make the experience what you want. Just because your roommates are in Greek life, it doesn't mean they have to be a part of your Greek life experience.
Living with two other chapters isn't a problem. A lack of space can be a problem, but chapters aren't. Never lose a sense of humor when you live in such cramped quarters. The experience ends up being what you make it. If you want to live a life of precariousness and posses no transparency when it comes to your roommates, be my guest. You already live in a closet -- a closet that becomes a little more filled when everyone in it is part of a chapter. Make the best of it.
