I remember after my first heartbreak many years ago I was searching the internet for articles and videos to help me cope. My favorite article I came across is still one I go back to from time to time all these years later, it talked about the three loves of your life and through all of my relationship woes, I have always taken the ideals of the three loves of your life to heart.
1. The young love
They say that you will encounter 3 true loves in your lifetime, all leading up to the person you will spend your life with. The first love of your life comes at an earlier age, typically high school. This person is everything you have seen in movies and more, but other than movies and TV, you don't really know what love is about, so this love is more fun than anything. They make you feel special for the first time by someone other than your family or close friends. You two adventure together and say, "I love you" without worrying about what the future holds. With this love, you will find yourself posting constantly about how much fun you are having with one another because what the world sees is more important to you than what happens between the two of you.
2. The hard love
The second love of your life is the one you try to make right but is completely wrong, also called your hard love. For me, this one came to me during my first year of college and was toxic. At the start, this person seems perfect like the last love was, but since you've grown, you start to notice what's worth fighting for and over. You learn a lot about yourself and your worth from this love. This love is painful and hurts whether it's from manipulation, lies, or the emotional imbalance. This love leaves you wondering if it's your fault and you fall into the toxic spiral of self-doubt and hanging on because you think that they'll eventually give you the love you're looking for, but they won't. This emotional swing of extreme highs and lows is exactly what keeps us addicted to this kind of unhealthy relationship.
3. The perfect love
The third love of your life typically comes into your life after a major heartbreak and when you least expect it. This is the love that you won't see coming but will be the best thing to happen to you. It comes so easily and doesn't seem real sometimes. How is it so easy with them? What about this person draws you to them so much? This love shows you what love is truly about, someone valuing you and caring for every inch of your being. You both put in the time and effort it takes to make it work and it does. Sometimes it's 50/50, sometimes it's 80/20, but regardless you both do what you can for each other and it works out better than you could have imagined. You don't feel like you need to advertise this love to the world because your happiness is enough, and when one of you is unhappy, it doesn't mean the end of the relationship, you two work it out and come out stronger than ever. This is the love that makes you wonder why you valued any of your exes before. This is the love that lasts a lifetime.