It's no secret that I am a curvy lady. I have curves in "all the right places," but I also have some other less desirable lumps and bumps. Recently, I've taken to going to the gym–partially for a summer class I'm taking, partially because I want to be healthier and more fit, partially because I'd like to lose some weight. Even though I'm new to working out, I have definitely already pinpointed some recurring thoughts. So, without further ado, here are some thoughts that plus-sized women have at the gym.

1. "Are those people looking at me? Oh God, I think they're looking at me!"

The fear is real, y'all. It sets in even before I reach the doors. Every person I see, I suddenly become very aware of and can feel their eyes burning into me–even when they're facing the other direction.

2. "Why is the desk person smiling at me? Are they making fun of me, is there something on my face?"

More fear and insecurity. The smiles of the gym staff should mean comfort and warmth, acceptance even. But, for me anyway, the smiles call more attention to me, they pile onto my already anxious and insecure mind and breed more uncertainty.

3. "Okay, time to stretch. I hate th...oh wow, that's a nice stretch."

Stretching is a necessary evil. Evil because of the awkward poses and faces, necessary because one time that I didn't stretch, well, let's just say I couldn't move without my calves feeling like they were overly full of magma. So now, because of my previous incident and the insistence of my roommate, stretching is, clumsily, part of my gym routine.

4. "What route shall I take to cardio hell today?"

Every time I go to the gym, I am faced with the same dilemma. Elliptical? Treadmill? Arc trainer? What do I do today? No matter what machine I end up on, I always embrace the pain that cardio brings.

5. "Time to step on, what if this is the time I fall off?"

Another irrational fear of mine, stepping onto a machine and tumbling off in the most absurd and embarrassing way possible. It still hasn't happened (as of yet), but I'm always mentally prepared for the fact that it could.

6. "OK, which program won't make me die?"

The answer is none of them. Every single program brings pain, but I will say the different programs each bring something unique to the table.

7. "Height, weight, age... Geez, does this thing want my SSN next?"

The cardio machines know more personal information about me than my boyfriend or best friend. It's a trust exercise every time I have to enter my weight into this machine, but it is important to have a more accurate idea of how many calories I've burned.

8. "It's go time."

Once I get everything entered into the machine, it's time to get it done. For the next 30 minutes, give or take some time, I am in the zone. Occasionally I'll have to pick my phone up and change the song because it's hard to work out to sad boy pop-punk, but other than that, I become totally focused.

9. "Does anyone else feel like their lungs are burning while they breathe?"

Seriously, toward the middle and end of the workout it's like fire in my lungs. But, the good news is that it's good fire. It's motivating, it reminds me that I'm pushing myself and making the changes that I want to make. It's a good feeling.

10. "Why must my boobs bounce so much? This feels obscene."

OK, I know it can't only be me that's waiting for a company to put a out a sports bra that's not ungodly expensive but also actually holds the girls in tight. I shouldn't be worried about giving myself a black eye when I'm working out, just saying.

11. "Is it OK to sweat this much?"

I mean, sweat dripping off of me and burning my eyes and rolling down my skin. Sweating that much sucks, but it's also motivating. Each bead of sweat is a reminder of how hard I'm working and how I'm pushing myself to do more and be better.

12. *singing in head* "It's the final countdown!"

The last five-ish minutes of my workout is usually me keeping track of how much longer I have to go. The first three minutes of that last five are spent pushing myself as hard as I possibly can, while the final two minutes are spent cooling down. The cool down is important, going from 100 to 0 is not a good idea. All I'm saying is that there's a reason the machines usually have a cool down mode built in.

13. "I am a goddess, look at me glisten with victory."

Flyaway hairs matted to my head with sweat, ponytail lopsided, clothes drenched, thighs on fire, skin bright red from how hot I am–I look more like a swamp demon than a goddess, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I did the damn thing. I busted my butt, I'm proud of myself and I can stride out of the gym with my head held high because I just put the work in. That's real victory.