As a former anti-feminist, I understand both sides of the fence. The way of thinking on both sides is totally understandable. Although, I do have to admit that I was wrong, I will say that I was only mislead. Instead of bashing the side I used to consider myself to be a part of, I feel like explaining the way I thought would be more beneficial to letting those who think that way know that they are not hated, to explaining why my thought process changed so radically, and to making a plea to everyone who has a negative opinion on feminism to re-examine it carefully.
The Past
Growing up, I was raised in a very conservative home. Fox News was always on, I only heard Republican names, and ideas like feminism typically held a strange connotation. I’ve noticed growing up that this was pretty typical of my peers as well. As far as I could tell, feminism was not something I wanted to be a part of. In my head, all I envisioned was women wearing no bras, bashing men for everything they do, and never being married to a man. Looking back, this seems crazy. I had never researched what it meant to be a feminist or asked what it meant. Instead, I bought into what certain media outlets wanted me to believe. Phrases like “feme-nazi” were things I had grown accustomed to because the image of something so beautiful as a feminist was being distorted and watered down by people who just didn’t want to accept the cause. So I understand where the thinking comes from.
Growing
As I grew older, I grew to question the ideas planted in my head. What does feminism really mean? Why is it so bad? Who says it’s bad? Oh, how thankful I am that I did this. One of my favorite quotes on this issue comes from G. D. Anderson. He says, “Feminism is not about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.” When I began to ask questions and do my research, I found out just how mislead I was. Feminism became much bigger than bra burnings; it became admiring the work of women such as Malala Yousafzai, Betty Friedman, Barbara Walters, and Maya Angelou. Still, I did not get there overnight. No one gets there overnight. It takes questioning, researching, hard thinking, and thought-provoking work.
Now
Now, I am a feminist. I will not burn my bras, but I will speak out against the staggering number of sexual violence incidents that occur towards women every day. I will not bash men; instead, I will have conversations with men about respecting women just by what they watch, buy, and listen to. I will not discourage women to not get married; instead, I will encourage healthy, strong marriages where equality and respectful love thrives within them. The term “feminist” deserves a break. I realized that when I thought so poorly of the term and people who identified as such, I was disrespecting the hard work of women all over the world fighting for things like voting rights, equal pay, and dismembering rape culture. Now, I choose to lift that work up. I will not fight to make women stronger (insinuating that they are weak to begin with), but I will fight to make sure that strength is recognized, identified, and embraced by everyone.
