After a weekend full of mass amounts of Domino’s pizza, Buffalo Wild Wings and Jimmy John’s, it’s time to go on a cleanse. Everyone knows they get this thought at least once while being in college. Stuffing your face with greasy, yet extremely delicious food has started to take a toll, so it’s time to break out the fruits and vegetables and workout gear. These are the thoughts of a college girl throughout the week of “attempting” to be healthy:

Monday:

8:30am: Good morning world! Nothing like some steel cut oats and fruit for the most important meal of the day.

10:00am: Hmm, okay stomach seems to already be grumbling. Looks like it’s time for that chia seed granola bar for a snack!

12:30pm: This is going well! I’m feeling light as a feather, but ready to chow on a nice spinach salad with chicken.

2:00pm: Time to hit the gym! I need to work off as much of the weekend as I can. Here we go!

2:05pm: Shoot, I’m already out of breath from walking up all those stairs, but extra calories burned and it was a great warm up!

3:00pm: (Laying facedown on the mat) I feel slightly dead, but I made it to the gym, so it counts. Time for my smoothie because I obviously deserved.

4:15pm: Is it time for dinner yet? Eh okay, maybe just a pre-dinner snack. An apple will do for now.

6:30pm: Look at me! I have a plate full of sautéed vegetables, tofu and whole grain bread for dinner. I’m the healthiest person alive!

7:00pm: Is it dessert time? Just a small handful of chocolate chips and I’m calling it a night! No more eating for me.

10:00pm: So, does anyone want to make some popcorn? No, do not give into your temptations just go to bed.

Tuesday

9:00am: It’s a new day! Time to eat just like I did yesterday. What a better day to start off the day than with some eggs and avocado toast. This is going to be a good day full of healthy meals!

10:45am: So, about time for that snack right? Some nuts and an apple will suffice.

11:30am: Ready to hit the gym hard! I’m going to workout 6 days a week and try to become one of those cool Instagram fitness models.

12:30pm: Wow, I really can’t feel my body. Why did I workout today? It should have been my off day.

1:00pm: LUNCHTIME THANK GOODNESS. A veggie burger with some hummus sounds great. Should I become a vegetarian?

6:00pm: I snacked on a few too many pretzels, so I need to make an extra healthy meal.

7:00pm: This spaghetti squash is quite delicious! If you just add half the container of Parmesan cheese, you can’t even tell it’s a vegetable!

7:05pm: Okay, starting to get a little sick of this stuff, but just keep eating it and don’t think about it.

9:30pm: Well, my roommates and I decided we should all watch a movie. You know what pairs well with a movie? Some popcorn! But, I’ll only have a handful, of course.

Wednesday

8:30am: Boy oh boy, popcorn was a bad idea last night. I ended up having way too much, but it’s time to redeem myself today! A smoothie and some whole grain toast will get the day started on the right foot.

9:45am: Whoever decided a smoothie could be something you have for breakfast? I think my entire class can hear my stomach growling.

11:00am: Dang it, my teacher brought in some chocolate chip cookies. I’m only going to take half of one!

11:02am: I felt bad touching the cookie and leaving my germs on it if I split it in half, so I took a whole one.

12:15pm: Time to work off that cookie I ate! Watch out treadmill. I’m going to put in some serious work today!

12:30pm: So, think I will just walk on the treadmill today. By the time I walked up all the stairs, I wasn’t in the mood to run. But, I’m still burning calories by walking!

1:00pm: Had to cut the workout a little short because, you know, I’m a full-time student I need to do my schoolwork!

1:30pm: I don’t have a ton of time to make lunch, so looks like the chili my mom sent me will have to do.

3:45pm: I can’t get anything done at the library right now! All I can think about is what I’m going to eat for dinner. Hopefully, this “small” handful of trail mix holds me over until then.

6:15pm: So, what I said about being a vegetarian yesterday? Not going to happen. I’m in the mood for some chicken tacos. Healthy chicken tacos, of course.

9:30pm: Surprisingly still full from my chicken tacos. I think it might be because I made enough for a small family.

9:45pm: Roommates, “let’s go to Ben & Jerry’s quick before it closes!”

Me, “ I’m in! You know I need some Phish Food in my life”.

Thursday

8:45am: No, please not steel cut oats again.

9:20am: Aw, those girls are selling Bill’s Donuts for $1 and it’s going towards a good cause. I might as well help them out!

11:30am: I can’t really move my legs or arms or any part of my body, so it’s a no go on the gym. But, I’ll still wear my cute workout outfit to class to make it seem like I went!

1:00pm: I’m way too lazy to cook, so I’m ordering a Jimmy John’s and I will get an unwich because that’s healthier!

1:05pm: Who am I kidding? The bread is the best part!

3:45pm: After not the healthiest lunch, I’ll have a healthy snack! Carrots and an apple sound delicious!

3:50pm: And maybe a few potato chips.

6:45pm: I’m too lazy to go grocery shopping, so looks like I’m having this box of pasta for dinner!

2:00am: (After a night out) So, do you want me to call Domino’s? Large pizza and breadsticks?

Friday

8:30am: Okay, I give up on this healthy thing. Maybe next week!