If I could publish this whole article in caps, I would. As the Browns continue to put the '0' and '16' in '2016,' the Cavaliers and Tribe have marked October 25th as the greatest "Clevemas" thus far.
As slow as baseball can be, I could not contain myself. This is the first World Series for the Indians since the year I was born, so I give you, my documented reactions to the entirety of Game One.
1. I have waited all day for this, no body talk to me.
2. LOOK AT ALL THE ELDERLY FANS, THEY HAVE WAITED SO LONG.
3. Wow, that flag is huge.
4. Of all people, why is Rachel Platten singing the National Anthem?
5. Jason Kipnis and I are both crying, my heart has disintegrated.
6. I love America.
7. Wait, why was the first pitch not televised?
8. OK, whatever, here we go.
9. Corey Kluber is a god, honestly.
10. YES, THREE OUTS.
11. OK, we're up, we can do this.
12. FREE TACOS, THANK YOU, LINDOR.
13. Is there even a Taco Bell around here?
14. Why are the Cubs in Cleveland and I'm not?
15. BASES LOADED!
16. Oh, that's why.
17. PLEASE TELL ME THE WHOLE WORLD JUST SAW THAT.
18. OK, up by two, let's do this.
19. "Hi, Grandma. Yes, I'm watching the game. OK, love you too, bye."
20. Corey Kluber just set a record.
21. "Jackie Kluber" has a nice ring to it.
22. No, stop, Jason Kipnis would be so disappointed.
23. 7 strikeouts in three innings, is this real life?
24. He just set ANOTHER RECORD.
25. Move over, Amanda, 'Jackie Kluber' it is.
26. How is Cleveland even functioning right now?
27. LINDOR WAS TOTALLY SAFE.
28. OK, maybe he wasn't, but still.
29. I can't take this.
30. I wonder how the Cavs are doing.
31. Damn, we still got it.
32. That banner gives purpose to my existence.
33. OK, back to the Trib- AH, WHY ARE WE YELLING?
34. Wow. Just wow.
35. I really wish my roommate was a Cleveland fan.
36. GO HOME, KYLE SCHWARBER.
37. Seriously, you choose NOW to have your first hit of the season?
38. Oh, never mind, y'all are out.
39. OK, potty break.
40. No, no, no, why do I hear cheering now?? WHAT DID I MISS??
41. Am I really standing here with my pants around my ankles?
42. HELL YES I AM, BECAUSE HOME RUN BY ROBERTO PEREZ!
43. OK, cool, a commercial.
44. Oh, come on, Ross, give that kid your bat. You don't need it.
45. See, told you.
46. OK, relax, tough guy, you don't need that mitt either.
47. I wonder how many times people sing "That's Amore" to Mike Napoli.
48. WAIT, HE'S BALD?
49. I'm fine, this is fine.
50. Lonnie Chisenhall? More like Gonna-Hit-This-Ball, am I right?
51. No wonder I'm watching this game alone.
52. LOL, power surge.
53. I swear, I've experienced every possible emotion in the last couple hours.
54. I've also eaten every single one of those feelings in popcorn and M&Ms.
55. Come on, Miller, I have faith in you!
56. Never mind.
57. Schwarber, I do not like you, leave.
58. I did not mean walk, unless it's back to Chicago.
59. You got lucky, dude.
60. MILLER, COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
61. Thank the lucky stars and almighty Zeus, he struck out.
62. Travis Wood? More like Wood you get the hell out of Cleveland, am I right?
63. Again, this is why I am watching this alone.
64. Francisco Lindor is so dope.
65. The look on Fowler's face after that out actually made me feel a little bad.
66. Miller, what are you doing, home boy?
67. Oh my God, OH my God... OH. MY. GOD.
68. Oh, thank God.
69. Excuse me, the Ump clearly said 'ball.'
70. Santana, why would you swing at that, bud?
71. DROP, PLEASE DROP, DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT.
72. Dammit.
73. MAN ON BASE, I REPEAT, MAN ON BASE.
74. ...
75. TWO MEN ON BASE, I REPEAT, TWO MEN ON BASE.
76. *GASP*... *GASP* ... foul.
77. *GASP* ... *GASP* ... A TRIPLE!
78. Perez be like
79. Whoever caught that ball, I hope you cherish it eternally.
80. Seriously.
81. OK, last inning. This is it.
82. First strikeout...
83. CHISENHALL? MORE LIKE MISS-THE-BALL, WHAT THE HECK.
84. That's OK, Kluber's got this.
85. Second strikeout...
86. I'm so stressed.
87. One... two...
88. THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT!
89. 6-0, WE WON, I AM INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY SCREAMING.
90. Wow, that was great, I can't wait to cry myself to sleep tonight.
