“The Highly Sensitive Person.” You probably read that in my article’s title and weren’t sure what you were getting yourself into when you clicked on the link I undoubtedly annoyed you with on your Facebook newsfeed. I’m here to tell you a little bit about what (little) I know about this special kind of personality trait that is found in between 15 and 20 percent of Earth’s population (including a plethora of other species besides us Homo sapiens). I’m also here to describe what life is like for me, a person who does not possess all of the manifestations of being highly sensitive but who does, nonetheless, express several of the indicators that Dr. Elaine N. Aron and numerous other psychologists note and describe when they discuss the personality type. Because I am by no means an expert, doctor or even one who is cripplingly affected by my sensitivity, please click on and explore the links below to learn more about the Highly Sensitive personality type and to take a self-test to determine if you (or your child) could fall under this category of personality.
Because hindsight tends to be 20-20 and because I happened to keep a diary from my 6th grade year through the summer before my freshman year of college, I now ascertain that I have displayed many characteristics of the HSP since my middle school years, if not younger. My self-consciousness and never-ceasing harsh analysis of how I may be perceived by those around me, coupled with my perfectionist mentality seem, to me, to be the most noticeable (and sometimes most problematic) signs that I am Highly Sensitive. As I’ve written about before, in my article about perfectionism in college, I tend to be quite nervous about how I come across to others in social interactions and worry that people are constantly making fun of me, despite my being nearly always surrounded by friends. This sort of worry wouldn’t necessarily make sense to someone who isn’t extremely sensitive and overly self-critical, but for me, this worry remains with me as I navigate my day-to-day life.
Another aspect of the HSP is the stress that looming deadlines, overcrowded to-do lists, and the desire to perform perfectly create on a daily basis. The combination of my perfectionistic attitude and the academic and extracurricular rigors of my university hits my Highly Sensitive self in ways that others would not be understand or relate to. I often feel the burden of anxiety upon my back and the worry that I may disappoint myself and others within my heart. In many cases, this continued feeling of anxiousness does not affect me in extreme ways. In fact, I feel like a certain amount of uptightness has helped me maintain my grades over the years. However, I have also experienced brief amounts of time when anxiety seemed to take over my world, preventing me from leaving my bed, bidding farewell to my appetite and leaving me completely incapable of carrying out the tasks I usually would have been able to.
In my opinion, one of the more intriguing qualities of a Highly Sensitive Person is the deep emotion we feel when immersed in a piece of artwork or song that we love. When I first took the self-test on Dr. Aron’s website, just before going to see a therapist about my anxiety and seemingly high sensitivity, this quality resonated greatly with me. Several of my friends have watched me cry when I listen to songs like “Dreams” and “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac, “Morning Has Broken” by Cat Stevens, or “The Girl” by City and Colour. In many cases, they don’t seem to understand why such beautiful music always makes my 20-year-old self break down in tears. But it’s because the music is beautiful and because rich, emotional music is how I work through a life that sometimes seems a little too complex.
I’m still learning about how my brain works and how I can use my unique characteristics in more positive ways. I hope to overcome the constant self-critiquing and to accept that in many cases, anxiety over a homework assignment, a public speaking role, or an in-class presentation is not worth it if I’m only really making a mountain out of a mole-hill. As far as my emotional connection to music goes, I’m not sure I can do anything about that one, and I’ll always be on the lookout for other songs that make me feel as touched as the ones I mentioned above do.
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