Monday night was the Bachelor Women’s Tell All. Basically, all of these women who fought for the love of one man while also pretending to be friends during this "journey" turn on each other and call each other out for all of their faults. Oh and there’s also talking about why they aren’t ending up with the love of that one man. Here’s the thoughts I had while watching these ladies talk about their experience.

Britt's crying face. 

But her lipstick is still perfect.

If Chris Harrison says this is the “most shocking season” one more time...

Why are they all wearing cowboy hats? Literally everyone at this party is in a cowboy hat.

Corn tequila? Is there a recipe for that?

Oh, Chris kissed one more woman. *Feigns Shock*

I want to be at the lady’s bachelorette party. Forget the glass they’re chugging straight handles of whiskey.

I hope Tara’s drunk.

I hope Jordan’s drunk too.

Can there be a black bar on Jillian’s butt? Please.

Found the bar.

Nobody even thinks Sanderson is real, Kelsey, stop.

Carly is STILL just jealous that Britt’s hot and she’s not.

Go team Britt I don’t care that she cries, go team Britt.

I take everything mean I’ve ever said about Jillian...

But I also still think she’s on steroids.

Yes Carly if Chris wants to take me on a hot air balloon ride, I would also forget my fear real quick. So would everyone in America.

SANDERSON POEEEEE.

Chris throws all the girls under the bus, literally every single one.

Every single girl is waiting to rip Kelsey’s head off.

Kaitlyn gives a stare that could kill.

Kelsey, shut up about your stupid story.

Kelsey’s using “big words” on purpose to prove to everyone that she knows some.

By “controversial” Chris means “hated” Kelsey in case you didn't catch that.

SLAY JUELIA SLAY.

WAIT THAT GIRL IS TALKING AND SHE HAS A NICKNAME AND ITS SAMMIE.

Ashley I. really is smart for a girl whose nickname is Kardashley. 

Honestly I totally believe that Kelsey made up Sanderson, she’s the Bachelor’s version of crazy eyes.

Ashley S. stole that “people are like onions” line from Shrek. Did nobody just see that??

Even Ashley S. thinks she's crazy watching her recap.

But her dress is amazing, and those Louboutins though. What’s her job?

Wait she’s a hairstylist, HOW CAN SHE AFFORD THEM?

Kaitlyn’s loving every second of this. If she could keep an Ashley S. in her pocket she would.

I’ve never seen someone more uncomfortable than watching Chris watch Jade’s nude Playboy video.

Is nobody hearing how they’re all stalking Chris through his blog.

Kaitlyn and Chris are the cutest thing in the whole entire world. The whole entire world.

Wait he said he’s falling in love with her too, THAT’S AGAINST THE RULES CHRIS.

Waiting on Chris to dump whoever he chose after seeing Britt.

If Kaitlyn’s not the next Bachelor, I quit.

Jade, obviously its awkward. You showed your boyfriend who is dating three other girls simultaneously nudies on national television.

“I’ve never looked at nude photos. Of anyone. Well anyone I’ve dated.” Oh. Okay Chris. Not awkward.

The dolphin laugh.

The black bar is back.

I don’t think that dog realizes this is about Chris finding love.

“We’ll see how it all ends next Monday.” - Chris Harrison. Me: OH MY GOD I’LL BE ON A CRUISE NEXT WEEK MY WORLD IS ENDING.

And for my last thought: KAITLYN FOR BACHELORETTE. THE END.

Watch the Bachelor Season Finale Monday, March 9th at 8 p.m. to see who Chris chooses to give the final rose- and an incredibly expensive engagement ring.