Watching your parent so fragile and in pain at the hospital is one of the worst feelings in the world. When that parent is your father, it's an emotion which seems so unnatural. Dad's are strong and my dad is the epitome of strength. Many people say the same thing about their fathers, but the truth is, my dad is strong because he never walks away from his responsibilities.
My dad is brave because the only thing he fears is God Himself. My dad is a man of integrity, diligence, humor and most importantly, he's a man filled with love. As I sit here next to my fathers hospital bed, it's hard not to look at him with a faint of heart. It's tough not to want to break down and cry because this man is the same guy my childhood-self thought was invincible and my adult self naively still believed was true. Reality sets in with the realization that my dad is human just like the rest of the world.
My biggest fear in life is the thought of losing one of my parents. It's something no one can ever be ready for and something no one can imagine actually happening. Finding out my dad was pre-diabetic a year and a half ago has somehow put me on edge. I can't help but look at my dad differently, as if the roles were reversed and I am now his parent who panics to keep him safe from the dangerous world. Each day I have a small voice that holds me in fear that his health could give at any given moment. It's not a feeling I wish to have, but the love I have for my father, keeps me alert to the potential of harm to his health.
My dad has been my everything since I was a child and it's obvious to say that I am my daddy's little girl. I needed my dad as a child like any young girl needs the warmth and protection from her father. I needed my father as a teenager even more because soon it was me and him against the world as he raised and guided me all by himself. Today, as a young adult, I need my dad because he's my rock and the foundation that keeps me afloat as I navigate through life as a seemingly independent woman. But as the years go on, I will only increasingly need my fathers presence, support and love because one day it won't be just me needing my dad but my children will need their grandpa. I need to know that the man I have been blessed to look up to, will be around to be evermore of an amazing role model to my future children.
I love my father, not because he's my dad, but because he lives up to being my dad. I love my father not because he provides for me, but because he provides out of love for my well being. I love my father because at the end of the day, no matter what happens, his love for me will never fade, his guidance never runs dry, his support keeps me going and his humor brightens up all my days. In this moment my dad may not be in the best health and physical strength but his eternal strength supersedes all else because it comes from God above. I can never be more thankful to have such an inspiring and amazing man to call my dad and I pray that God protects him always, continues to bring him home safely each day and guides us to improving his health one step at a time.
