If you’re a Southerner or a Cali kid, you probably know the feeling of waiting the entire winter for that one big snowstorm, only to have your hopes dashed, as March comes around and the ground is bare. Well, I lived in the Boston area for my entire childhood, so I really haven’t ever known that feeling. At all. If I looked outside during the winter and saw grass, I would probably think it was some kind of practical joke. Which is why, this winter, I, along with everyone in the Boston area, am scratching my head. So far, there has only been one single instance of snowfall in Boston. And it’s January. New Englanders from all six states are wandering aimlessly, confused as to why they’re sweating under their parkas and Celtics beanies. And if you’re one of the 4 million Bostonians who are experiencing this unnaturally warm winter, your train of thought has probably been something like this:

1. Ok it’s December!! Time for snow and hot cocoa and holiday parties :)))
2. Wow! 50 degrees! Maybe I’ll keep my parka in storage for another week.
3. The grass on the Boston Common is still green and it’s December but whatever!!! It goes well with my festive Christmas sweater am I right??
4. Roads are clear...my shoes still look like shoes...is this real?
5. How am I actually moving at more than 10 MPH on I-93??
6. Why am I sweating in my Christmas sweater? Is this a health problem? Should I call my doctor?
7. I just walked outside in just a light sweater and joggers and I’m not in excruciating pain??? This is so weird???
8. Sh*t. I forgot how to use a squeegee.
9. I will cry if we don’t have a white Christmas. I thought that not-white-Christmases were a myth. Or maybe they only happen on the Cape.
10. The sky is legitimately blue right now. Like, there aren’t any clouds. I can see the top of the Pru. What?
11. Do they sell short-sleeved Christmas t-shirts at Macy’s because it’s sixty degrees and I am so confused?
12. I haven’t had to reschedule plans due to inclement weather at all! Not even once! This is a dream come true!
13. It’s two days before Christmas and there isn’t a fifty-foot-tall snow mountain in the mall parking lot and I actually just found a parking spot OMG
14. Is Christmas canceled?
15. What is snow?
16. What does it look like?
17. Does snow even exist?
18. Have I just been imagining it my entire life?
19. Are people actually going to First Night??? I thought that was where people who wish to have all their limbs frozen off go to wallow in misery?
20. People are still buying frappes??
21. What if it does snow?? What do I do? I forgot how to shovel??
22. Where even is my winter coat though...
23. It’s almost January and I haven’t accidentally frozen my hair yet…?
24. WHAT??
25. IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE???
26. I thought snow was gone, never to return...a myth
27. Well, now I’m stuck inside, with nowhere to go because I forgot how to drive in the snow, and no hot cocoa.
28. RIP my beautiful, undamaged shoes.
29. I’m going to sleep forever.
30. I don’t know how to clean off my car someone help
31. Oh...it’s warm and raining again.
32. I don’t even know anymore.