Bodies are weird.

Bodies are beautiful.

Bodies are constantly discussed.

I’ve been hearing a lot about body positivity in recent years, and the conversation isn’t always as positive as I’d like it to be. More often than not, what I’m seeing is human to human emotional violence. Body positivity and body confidence has morphed into a false sense of superiority based on body types and shaming others for the body they live in. It’s not enough to love or feel comfortable in your body anymore, you have to be desirable to the entirety of the internet now. Skinny girls are automatically “bitches” for being thin, thick girls are either “curvy” or “fat, there is a label for everyone, skin is compared, makeup usage is debated over, and at the end of the day I’m finding myself exhausted by the constant comparison. I look on social media and I see a continuous parade of women body shaming other women, and men body shaming women, and women body shaming men. People are being attacked online by strangers for the way they look, and it needs to stop. It doesn’t matter if you’re 100 pounds or 300 pounds if you’re comfortable with your body that should be all that matters.

Enough with the comparisons, enough with the “Dad bod” jokes, the twitter posts about who is allowed to wear crop tops and who isn’t, someone else’s body is not your business. I’m not sure when we all became qualified to tell other people they need to lose weight, or when our opinions were asked for, but it’s high time we start uplifting other people rather than dragging them down. Society is dealing with enough right now, we don’t need to add a crushingly low self-esteem to the mix. The skinny girl you follow on Instagram isn’t posting fun beach pictures to make you feel fat, and the plus size model you come across is still an example of the beauty of the human form. We need to stop letting the appearance of others make us feel small. We need to stop letting the appearance of others give us a sense of superiority. Having a smaller waist doesn’t make you a better person just like shaming people who aren’t as curvy as you doesn’t make you a better person. The jealousy and the pettiness are allowing us to feel comfortable making someone else feel ashamed of their body so we can feel a little better about our own for a second. Just because you have a little bit of an extra roll when you bend over, or thighs that touch, or thighs that don’t touch, or breasts that you think are too big or too small, it doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love. Your body is unique, there is no one else in the world exactly like you are, and that is so special. Don’t take that away to feel beautiful. Don’t become someone else to please others. Don’t shame another body to feign confidence about your own.

Body positivity doesn’t mean you have to be positive that someone else desires your body, it means that you encourage a sense of self-confidence in others and that you are working towards having a healthier outlook on your own body image. Having self-confidence isn’t the same as being told by society that you’re hot, you can be told you’re beautiful or hot or gorgeous and never believe it yourself, self-confidence is all about learning to love yourself regardless of what others tell you about your body. Personally, I don’t think body positivity movements should stop at the body because there is so much we do to dress and decorate our bodies. Body positivity should include the way people use makeup, whether they wear none or wear a lot that’s not your business. Body positivity should include tattoos, if the ink is not on your skin it is doing nothing to hurt you, that tattoo could be incredibly meaningful or empowering that person and to belittle them for it is extremely insensitive. We shouldn’t continue to judge our friends and neighbors and fellow human beings based on their choice of self-expression. It’s called self-expression for a reason, and if your self is not the self in question it’s not you who gets to be in charge of those decisions.

Bodies are weird, let’s love them for it. Bodies are beautiful, no matter what shape or size they come in or how we choose to decorate them. Bodies are constantly discussed, but we can change the conversation.