I thought I knew what love was. I thought love was difficult, something you had to constantly work for. I thought arguing was the normal thing to do. I overlooked the moments I felt insecure and unloved. I brushed off the pain and figured it was just a part of the sacrifices you make when you truly love someone. Sacrifices of not spending time together, forgotten moments, and seeing the way they looked at someone else the way you always wished they would look at you. I thought I had love all figured out.
It turns out, I didn’t know anything about love. I didn’t know love was waiting for someone to come home and wrapping you in their words as if it was the very first time they had ever done so. I didn’t know love was remembering every moment, every smile, every wish and feeling it in the depths of your soul. I didn’t know love meant someone caring about your dreams and making you discover new dreams of a beautiful future you could never see with anyone else before. I especially didn’t know that love was something given without expecting anything in return, just because you wanted to give all of yourself to another person.
I didn’t realize love could hit you so fast you felt like the breath had been knocked out of you. I didn’t know what it was like to be worried sick of another person’s safety, to feel completely safe in another person’s presence, to break into pieces around them and watch them pick up every piece and put you back together. I didn’t know what true love was and I didn’t know it was something I could have.
This new love, this real love, is something I've never felt before.
As I type this, I am not afraid. I am not worried about being accepted by you because there isn’t a moment that passes that I don’t feel every part of you seeping into me and warming my heart. I don’t feel the need to change who I am or what I want because you want me for exactly those things.
I thought I knew what love was.
Now I know that love is easy, something you work for only to make even better than before. I don’t feel the need to argue about pointless topics to obtain your attention. I never feel insecure and I always feel the most loved I ever have. The sacrifices we make are not alone, but together. In fact, I don’t see anything as a sacrifice with you at all.
I am overwhelmed by you, but not in the usual way. I am overwhelmed with your kindness and gentleness. I am comforted by your presence. My weakness doesn’t feel like chaos, it feels human. You strengthen my hope and you give me a life I look forward to living. You are everything I never knew existed. Everything I wished for, but thought was impossible.
Thank you for showing me what love is, but most of all, thank you for making be believe it was something I was worthy of having
