Has your heart ever physically ached? Ached as though no amount of bandages could stop the bleeding, or as though you’ve become mute to the world surrounding you? You’ve physically lost your appetite, forgot what contentment feels like and begun to experience the coldest chill you’ve ever let eerily creep down your spine.
If you’re anything like me, you’re careful about who you let into your circle. Trust is so fragile, no matter the relationship. Trust is something our society has grown to handle with harsh hands. “I can trust you” and “you can trust me” are all common phrases/misconceptions we’ve heard or said amongst bonds with one another. What does it mean to tell someone they can trust you, while in the back of your mind you’re itching, because you cannot wait to (only) tell your closest friend. It's a chain of lies. You tell your best friend, who then tells another friend, who then sends it in a message and now the message has strung amongst a line of people. That trust that was initially promised is now nothing but a piece of notebook paper drifting away with the wind.
I’ve recently been trying to cheer up an individual whose heart is so dear to my own. My cousin was in a long relationship with someone she invested her heart into. She gave it her all and let this man handle her heart with gentle hands and much trust. They discussed a future together on more occasions than not and continually encouraged each other to be the best that they could possibly be. Through endless hardships, they kept hope for things to change for the better. All of this trust was destroyed after he called her out-of-the-blue confessing he’s in love with someone else. How could he? How could he instill so much hope in someone who had such a naive love for him? Right when everything seems to be going right for us, something toxic crosses our path. Are some things really too good to be true?
Some things in life, as such, are out of our control. You really can only completely trust yourself, but don’t let that destroy you. We don’t deserve to beat ourselves up over something that wasn’t our decision or desire. Your heart still belongs to you and that will never change.
It is difficult to pick yourself up once you’ve felt as though you’ve been defeated. It is so much easier to tell yourself you’re not going to procrastinate studying for the next test, then find yourself cramming the night before. It’s so much easier to tell yourself you’re going to do something to better yourself today, only to blame time. It’s so much easier to stay in bed and ignore that you’ve been awakened to see another day. All of these things tend to be easier said than done when our paths feel strayed and our hearts feel worn. I'm here to tell you to keep going. You are capable of more than you know, and you are bigger than the big bad wolf that has rained on your parade. Whatever it is that your heart is battling—let it go. If it’s out of your control then don’t waste your time fixing it. Grieve, get it out, pick yourself up and remind yourself that it is what it is. Today is a new day and today, that is good news.
