This Is How You Keep Her

This Is How You Keep Her

It's not quite as complicated as you may think.

This Is How You Keep Her
By Tezza Photography

Appreciate her. I don’t just mean appreciate the way she looks or how she makes you feel (but you can absolutely do that too). Appreciate the way she laughs, whether it be from something you said, or a joke she heard years ago that she still thinks is funny. Appreciate the things that she does for you and with you.

Remember how she likes her tea and coffee. Remember that she loves those mixed flavor bags of Jelly Belly jelly beans, but is too impatient to eat them one at a time, and usually regrets that decision mid-bite. Remember her favorite color, and why she can't stand white chocolate or the smell of too much perfume (she has always preferred a light, fresh scent over an overpowering one). Remember that she can't fall asleep at night without a fan blowing nearby, and being all cuddled up in blankets. Try to remember important dates, like her birthday and your anniversaries.

Show her that you appreciate the way she always notices when your mood has changed and that you know how much she cares about you. Show her that you love learning her and learning why she does what she does. Show her that you notice her favorite phrases to use, that you pay attention to her facial expressions, and that you are always trying to learn what each one means. Show her that you are listening to her when she talks, and that you will work with her to keep your relationship healthy and stable.

Apologize when you have hurt her, even if it was unintentional. Hold her when she's sad, and listen to her if she wants to talk about it. She won't always need you to try to help solve the problem, but sometimes she will, and you'll start to know the difference of what she will need in each moment. Though sometimes all she really wants is someone to be there with her, supporting her, and accepting her for who she is.

That's another thing, it is important that she feels loved and supported in what she does. She doesn't need your approval or validation, but she would love to know that you are proud of her, no matter what she does. Please don't just tell her what she wants to hear, tell her what she needs to hear too. You'll learn how to say what needs to be said, and when is a good time to do so. Sometimes she may need a little tough love every now and then, in addition to all the encouragement that you give her. Love doesn't sugarcoat things, it says what needs to be said in a gentle manner.

Take her out every now and then. It doesn’t have to be super grand; it could even be a picnic or to go see a movie that she has been wanting to check out. I'm sure she'd love it if you went to the pet store to go play with puppies and hold the little rabbits. I promise it will make her feel special; she just wants to know that she is thought of and cared for.

Give her things; the important things, like your time, love, and energy. She needs consistency and deserves affection. She doesn’t need to have 100 percent of your attention 24/7, but she does need your focus to be right there with her when you’re together, and to be a priority in your life.

She loves the little things, and you don’t even have to spend a lot of money on her to make her feel appreciated; you could give her a flower you found while you two were out walking, or a bouquet of roses, or even just surprise her with a McFlurry from McDonald’s, and she would be thrilled.

She loves surprises, in all forms, even if it just means you randomly show up at her house one day during a busy week, just to see her for a few minutes. You have the ability to make her day at your very fingertips, believe me.

Gosh, even if you just send her a text or write her a letter every now and then, telling her what you love about her, she would be so happy, and I know you love seeing her face light up. There is that one particular smile that she always reserves for you. She doesn't even have to try to do so because it comes naturally when she's with you, or when someone mentions your name, or even (and especially), when she tells someone something about you. I'm sure you know exactly which one I'm talking about.

When she found you, she found someone who is always ready to have fun and is up for anything, even if it's not something you would particularly enjoy doing, simply because you get to be with her. She just wants to be happy and desires a life full of laughter. If you're not prepared to try to add to that, please give someone else a chance to do so, she deserves it.

She wants to know you, all of you, without you holding back; it will help her feel even closer to you when she is able to fully and completely see and know your heart. Once she sees it, she will love you even more. I know she's proud of who you are.

To quote a dear friend, "Butterflies come and go. Emotions are temporary. Love is a choice, and you have to make that [choice] every single day... It's not easy, but nothing worth having is easy."

I know there will be tough times, but don't give up. You must fight for her if you really want your relationship to last. One cannot dally or be lax when a problem arises. If either one of you needs space, give each other that bit of time to cool off, but try not to let the sun go down on your anger. It's best to try to work things out and discuss what went wrong as soon as possible; to not let anything get between you. Try to be understanding if she tells you that something is bothering her, even if you don't really get it, or feel like it isn't really a problem at all.

You don't have to try to be anything you're not.

Remind her why she fell for you, and why the two of you ought to stay together by simply being who you are, doing your best, and continuing to do what you did to make her your girl.

How you won her is how you will keep her. She is a prize, but she's not an object. She is rare, beautiful, and incredibly special, and you know it. She loves you for you; please don't take her for granted. She will always try to be there for you, too; she really loves you, ya know.

I know she will do her best to appreciate you just as much as you appreciate her.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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