Just as I had many times before, I was explaining myself, as if i were on trial. It started as a harmless comment, but it is something I am so very tired of hearing.

"So you got your heart broken that bad, huh?

"Aw, have you just had bad experiences in relationships?"

"What happened to make you feel that way?"

All of these comments are because of my choice to be single. Why is this such a farfetched concept? Why is a girl in her 20s ultimately chasing love above all things? Why must I be searching to tie myself down when all I really want to do is experience my freedom. I will never understand why I am seen as weird or damaged just because I want to celebrate myself in my singleness.

To start off, (I hate to be this girl, but it is really is the truth.) If I was a 20 year old boy, no one would be questioning me in any way. I would not find myself defending my decision to be in control of my own life and to not be responsible for someone els's feelings. If I was a 20 year old boy I would be applauded for understanding that your youth is precious and that its okay to be picky when it comes to tethering your life to someone.

Secondly, Why am I required to explain myself? Just to give you a little bit of insight, no I have not had any relationship experiences that are more terrible than the next 20 year old. So because I WANT to be single I must have been so badly burned in the past that I now have a crippling fear of commitment alongside a sever case of trust issues. Is it absolutely ludicrous to think that someone could possibly just WANT to be single? And to be quite honest, if I had been that badly burned, where do you get off by thinking you have a right to know the intimate details of why I am the way I am?

Next, I am surrounded by people who are settling down. Picking out rings, wedding colors, and centerpieces. I am so deeply happy for these people.I can't wait to be standing beside them as they say their "I Do's" This might come as a shock to you, but I'm not cynical. I love, love. I hope to eventually pick out my centerpieces but right now that is not on my list of priorities. I would tell you I haven't been planning my wedding since I was 10, but it would be a bold face lie. But like I said, I currently have different priorities, and that should be celebrated with the same acceptance.

Lastly, being single is a personal choice. Let me say that again for you people in the back, A PERSONAL CHOICE. I get to make choices about my love life because it is completely my own. As Ive gotten older the more Ive realized that I do not have a right to have an opinion about another person's love life because that is the most personal thing that they have. So next time you find yourself snickering at or even judging someone els's relationship (or lack there of) go ahead and remind yourself that your opinion about it will not change the way that they feel. Shocking, right?

I chose to be single at this point in my life because I want to be selfish. I want to be selfish with my time, my priorities, and my energy. I want to spend as much time as possible learning about myself and who I am becoming as an individual. I do not want to take on the role of being responsible for someone els's feelings or happiness. That is something that so many people take too lightly. Taking on that role before you are truly able to do so leaves people disappointed and hurt. I have a hard enough time worrying about my own happiness and feelings I would not want to try to take on someone els's issues while still sorting through my own.

Weird as it may be for my date nights you can find me at your local coffee shop with my one true love (any novel ever) sipping my drink and people watching. My romance will come strictly from Grey's Anatomy episodes, and I couldn't be more content with that. I am ready to be myself, by myself. I am going to celebrate my singleness and embrace the freedom it gives me! I plan on taking advantage of every moment of it, until I am ready for more.

So the next time you go to ask someone why they want to be single, (Because really it is the most farfetched idea) why don't you just take a moment to embrace that not everyone has to want the same things at the same time, and that is okay. The next time you hear the words, "I'm just not really dating these days." Go ahead and tell that person how awesome that is. Because in a world littered by "relationship goals" and articles about love every time you open your Facebook timeline, you have someone doing something much more difficult. They are learning to love themselves.