When should I do this assignment? I should really do this assignment. It’s not due for like, a week, but I should probably at least start thinking about it. How many pages is it again? Ugh, I also have a test that week. I'm probably going to have to stay up pretty late studying for that. What other assignments do I have to do this week? Let me check my syllabi to make sure I haven’t forgotten about anything. That test last week, though; I'm not really sure how I did. Oh my gosh, how are my grades this semester? I did really well last semester, I can’t mess this up.
Last semester, I found myself thinking way too much. I felt like I was on top of a mountain. Under typical conditions, there would be everything to see; the mountaintops, the lakes and rivers, the trees, the towns surrounding, the horizon, everything. The clouds formed, however, and all was a wall of fog. Nothing could be seen except the foliage around me atop the mountain. All that was out there was left to my imagination. Was there even anything out there anymore? It was time to stop thinking, stop imagining, and to actually start seeing.
I went to Ireland over winter break. I’d always wanted to go, since I can remember. I went by myself; I knew nothing about the world of Ireland and I didn’t know anyone. It was the greatest experience of my life. I was constantly going to places I could only have dreamed of before and I was constantly meeting new people. It was kind of like I was dropped into a dream. The possibilities were endless, and everything was incredibly new and exciting. It was like I was living a new, separate life.
Finally, I didn’t have to think about what I needed to do or what I was supposed to do or what I could be doing. I was doing what I could be doing, and that was anything. I felt refreshed and alive and for once in my life; my thoughts weren’t drifting around my past and future. My thoughts were there, with me, at that moment. On the plane ride home, I realized that things could always be that good. It doesn’t matter where you are, you can always be present.
Back in Charlottesville, I decided to try out living in the immediate present. I realized there were a lot of things I wanted out of life that were actually possible. I didn’t need to think about it or dream about it, I could do it. I got involved in things that I wanted to be involved with and I started to spend time with those people I wanted to spend time with. I did my school work when I needed to do my school work, ate when I needed to eat, exercised when it was time to exercise, and spent time with friends when it was time to spend time with friends.
It might sound simple, but it is so easy to just go through the routines of your life and be somewhere else mentally. What is the point of dwelling on the past and the future? The past is gone and the consequences of the past, good or bad, will arise in due time. The future, more times than not, the future is nothing of what I thought it would be. The present, though; that is where you have control of your life. Life is made of moments. We live in moments. Make each moment the moment you want it to be. A life full of great moments is a great life.
Know what you want and make it happen. If it doesn’t work out, at least it isn’t haunting your thoughts. The things that haunt your thoughts cloud your vision of the present. Don’t live your life in your imagination, it will only keep you where you are. Move your feet forward, get down from the clouded mountain top. Focus on where you are, on where your feet are stepping, on the beauty that is actually surrounding you. Live in the moments that are your life, make these moments the moments you want in your life. Stop thinking what could be and start living what should be.
