Throughout my life, I have found myself constantly looking forward to the future while creating fear in missing the present. I often find myself thinking about the coming days, weeks, and even months. Whether it's the end of the semester, an upcoming event, or just the opportunity to begin again, I often look ahead to release the stress what is considered "the now." It's a paradox, really. Until recently, I didn't realize that by focusing on the future, I was only going to stress myself out more in the long run. There are many things I see that I have missed during my lifetime because of futuristic tunnel vision. It isn't to say that you shouldn't look forward to the future and all it may hold, such as a job, a place to call your own, life with a significant other, and the fulfillment of your goals. It's a balance between keeping an eye on the future while thinking in the present. Until recently, I did not know how to prevent myself from avoiding current stress by looking forward to whatever was next to come. In the upcoming steps, I want to illustrate how I learned to live for the moment while preparing for the future.
Step 1: Stop looking past "the now"
In order to live life in the moment, I needed to stop convincing myself that everything would be resolved in time. I began to count days rather than live them. You never get back the time you waste and wasted time is time spent looking forward to things rather than enjoying the wait. In order to grasp "the now", you need to release the thought of the future healing the restlessness, stress, grief, or anger of the present. Without thinking that the future is your savior at all times, or that it will be more exciting than the present, you will begin to see the current time as something wonderful in itself.
Step 2: Terminate a fear of missing out
One of the greatest obstacles I faced during the time I learned to live in the moment was the feeling of missing out on whatever event was happening at that precise moment. I wanted to be out with friends all of the time so that I never missed a moment like I had during previous times. I wanted to be a part of the moment so that I knew what everyone was talking about. I wanted to become included in everything. What I failed to realize was that these feelings only created a loss of vision for the future. I was now only living for the present and procrastinating things I needed to prepare for the upcoming days, weeks, and months. It was at the point of extreme procrastination that I stopped obsessing over things in the moment that I needed to put second. This was the second step in regaining my balance in the timeline of my life.
Step 3: Take a second to breathe and reflect
At certain points of the day, it is important to breathe. I know it sounds cliche, but it's the only way to slow yourself and life at the moment down. I tend to move through my day quickly so any incidents that may arise can easily switch my mood from content to angered and back again fairly easily. It's in this moment that you need to catch yourself and take a breath. Once I walk away from a pivotal event during my day, mostly something that causes stress or annoyance, I take a second to realize how small the incident is compared to my life. It's at this time that you should laugh and be able to remind yourself that in order to make it through life sometimes we need to address the events of the moment first.
And with these three steps, I learned to create not only a life for myself in the present but a vision for the future as well. I stopped being a paradox and started living my life. Perhaps you're just like me - lost in the timeline of your life. That's OK. Just remember to stop looking, stop fearing missing out, and keep breathing.
