Today, people know me as the kind of girl who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Sweet, easygoing, gentle, and sometimes even “naive.” I always think before I speak and try to be as “good” as possible.

But as a young child, I struggled with knowing how to express myself in healthy ways. I didn’t have the words to tell my parents that I was jealous of my younger siblings, or that my first-grade teacher misunderstood me. This led to emotional outbursts and bitter words rolling off my tongue.

Fortunately, I had my grandma, a former elementary school teacher, to learn from. She’s always told me, “Think before you say or do something that could hurt someone.” She didn’t hesitate to let me know if I had said something that was inappropriate or careless.

Through her wisdom, I eventually made thinking before I speak become a core value of mine.

As I’ve gotten older, it’s become clear to me that words bite. Yes, actions speak louder than words, but not when words are dipped in venom and coated with rubbing alcohol.

Social media, particularly social media that allows you to be anonymous, makes matters so much worse. When I used Ask.fm in high school, I saw hurtful things being said to me or other people and wondered, "why??"

I’ve always been sensitive. The young child who had emotional outbursts was me not being able to manage my emotions effectively. But if there’s anything I’ve learned about being highly sensitive, it’s that I have an uncanny ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes. Before I say something, I can think to myself, “How would want this point to be delivered to me?” or “How would I feel if that was said to me?”

Another point I want to make is that it’s okay to delay a decision to say or do something if it means you won’t end up being petty. Saying nasty things, for example, to someone who hurt your feelings, only complicates the situation. It creates negativity on top of the negative feelings you're already consumed in.

The smart thing to do is to take time for yourself and evaluate, first, what you’re feeling, and second, why you’re feeling it. Most of the time, what you thought was a big deal in the moment, isn’t such a big deal.

As a writer, words are very important to me. How could I convey what I want to say right now without words? Sometimes I agonize in front of my keyboard, searching for the right word before I continue typing. Sometimes in a conversation, I’ll pause so I can think of the right word that perfectly conveys what I want to say. Why can’t I just “spit it out?”

The answer is that words are very powerful. Sometimes I don’t say much at all, but I’m okay with that. When I do talk, people can trust that sincere, well-thought-out words will come out.