When you are in a relationship with someone, that relationship should be a healthy one. Full of compassion, safety, freedom, mutual love, and understanding. But, we are human. We make mistakes by picking someone who seemed amazing, then showed their true colors once you were hooked. You learn some lessons from those relationships, those are the ones that leave the biggest marks.
If you’ve been in bad relationships, you have learned a lot about yourself. These experiences help you grow as a person and to realize that these feelings don’t last forever. You learn that your forever is not going to be with someone that wants to hurt you. We learn that we deserve better in life, and that is what we eventually get. Some lessons that you learn from these relationships are:
- Change is a good thing
When you’re partner does not want you to try new things, like go out to a party, try a new bar, or hang out with a new group of friends, RUN. They will try to tell you that change is a bad thing, and make comments like “You’ve changed… And I’m not sure how I feel about that”. Your partner should always be supportive of you and always encourage you to try new things. Change happens because you grow, and if they are not allowing you to grow, how are you supposed to figure out who you are as an individual?
- Never let someone come before your mental health
When you are in a toxic relationship, you get used to someone thinking for you. You get so used to having someone being you. When that is threatened, you start to feel the anxiety, which causes you to do anything for that person to get them to stay; you don’t know what life is like without them anymore, and they hold that over your head.
- Don’t be afraid of showing them the door
No matter what, you should not let someone make you afraid of being alone. The comments that they say about never finding someone like them are good. You don’t want someone like them. You want the opposite. You want support and understanding. Not controlling and abuse. Never think that the wrong person is the only person out there for you.
- Don’t let anyone have control over you
When you’re in a toxic relationship, you notice some things about it. There is a lot of insecurity in your partner, which causes jealousy and a need for control. They show this by being selfish and self-centered, like everything you do is wrong and you need to fix it, even when it’s doing homework with the opposite sex and you didn’t tell them.
The most important thing you figure out is your self-worth. You learn how strong of a person you are and you find that you deserve better. You leave the toxic relationship and you go and find more for yourself. You may even find a new person to be with, but this time, it’s a healthy one. You figure out the characteristics of a person you want to avoid and ones that you want. You become a happier version of you that everyone can get on board with.
