My Facebook page these days has become little more than an observational dumping ground. My most "liked" posts are usually the ones where I am simply repeating things I've overheard people say or remarking on weird behaviors people have.

I'm the ultimate people watcher. Maybe I'm just a creeper. I don't know. But when people tell me that I must attract weirdos to see all the things I see or hear all the things I hear, I don't think that's necessarily the case. I'm just super observant--"Hyper-vigilant," according to an old doctor who attempted to uncover the primary source of my anxiety.

Though I'm not sure whether hyper-vigilance is the cause of my anxiety, or if it's the other way around. Because I'm irrationally fearful of everyone and everything, I tend to just notice things more. It's a fight-or-flight mentality.

Either way, I don't think there's anything about me in particular that attracts weirdos. If anything, my years of training to stand out as little as possible in a crowd might be the ticket. I'm unassuming and meek, and perhaps that makes it so people don't even notice my presence, which allows them to feel comfortable saying or doing things that they wouldn't necessarily say or do in the presence of a more imposing figure.

I have a running "series" on my Facebook page of things I overhear on campus. I was a student for a number of years, and have continued to work on a college campus since I graduated, so I haven't had much of a break from the environment. But that's okay, because I absolutely love college campuses.

My campus in particular is great. It's smack dab in the center of Denver, which is as diverse a city as they come. With that diversity comes interesting and unique viewpoints, and it is this that has me convinced that this fear that older and more conservative folks have of students being indoctrinated into a liberal mindset in college (god, I cannot believe I just linked to a Breitbart article), while having some basis in reality, is not always the case, and certainly not to the degree that some people believe (see: Breitbart).

Because...well, you would not believe some of the crazy things I've heard people say that are not only not at all PC, but straight up misogynistic, racist, or classist. But mostly just really out there.

So, without further ado, I would like to share my 10 most "liked," funniest, or weirdest stories from my "overheard on campus" series.

Dream big

January 28, 2013

Definitely overheard a girl say she's only going to school because her parents are making her and paying her way through, but she's using this time as a method to meet guys who are going to be making a lot of money so she can marry rich and never work.

Good game, America.

Define "lucky"

February 12, 2015

I just overheard a guy telling another guy who was wheelchair-bound that he was lucky to not have to walk back and forth across campus. In all seriousness.

Fantastic job, society.

Apparently, Korea isn't in Asia

April 16, 2015

I'm assuming Girl A was trying to set Girl B up on a date.

Girl A: He's really cute and super smart!
Girl B: He's not Asian, is he?
Girl A: No, no, no. He's Korean.
Girl B: Okay, good!

I'm not sure why this girl feels the way she feels about Asians, but if she's really anti-Asian, I'm sure she was severely disappointed when she showed up to that date.

Shoot for the stars, but maybe understand reality

September 22, 2016

Today, it was a kid complaining that an entry-level job he wants in an art studio only pays $49k a year and he won't accept anything less than $125k.

I think some college students have insanely unrealistic expectations about a college degree in liberal arts. I say this as a person with a college degree in liberal arts. I work in higher education and have four freelance editing jobs, and I still don't make even $49k. And that's okay. I expected nothing more.

We don't deserve animals

February 6, 2017

I overheard some people chatting as I walked by a smoking section on campus.

Girl 1: Your boots are so cute!
Girl 2: (looking down at boots with a lit cigarette in her mouth, hair falling in front of her face) Thanks!
Girl 1: You're going to catch your hair on fire!
Girl 2: (laughing) It wouldn't be the first time! I caught my cat's tail on fire last night. It was hilarious!

Yes. Because hurting animals is absolutely hysterical.

Please don't drink and drive, and definitely, don't ghost

March 27, 2017

Guy talking to his friend about his weekend: "I got wasted on Friday and hit a stop sign with my car. No DUI though because I wasn't going to call the cops on myself, HAHAHA! But anyway, my phone got busted in the crash so this girl thinks's I'm ignoring her since I can't text her back."

So this guy got drunk, DROVE, could have killed someone, and laughs about it. And is only upset that some girl thinks he ghosted her. Awesome.

Drugs are a hell of a drug

March 30, 2017

A girl talking to a friend: "I lost two whole days of my life. I literally remember nothing. This guy was just like, 'Smoke this pipe!' And I was like, 'What is it?' And he was like, 'Just try it. You'll love it!' And I was just like, 'Okay!!!' And then I just remember waking up in some shitty hotel like, 'Wooooaaahhh.' I don't know his name or who he was or I'd ask him what that was so I can get more."

I still don't even know where to start with this one. There are so many concerning pieces to that story.

Mens' rights are under attack

April 24, 2017

"It should be only the man's decision if the woman should have an abortion or not depending if he wants to be a dad or if he doesn't want to pay child support. Because f**k that."

All college students are liberals, eh?

It's God's fault you're poor

July 6, 2017

"High moral class is absolutely tied to high financial class. It's not a coincidence that most rich people are also the most religious. God rewards those of faith with the ability to succeed financially. And that's what's funny to me about most educators being liberals and then complaining about being paid poorly. Educators are morally bankrupt and deserve the low wages they earn for siding with the left and the devil."

...

Said by a person pursuing a degree in college. If educators are morally bankrupt, why are you choosing to learn from them?

Eve should thank Adam

December 5, 2017

Guy talking on the phone with someone: "But at the same time...but at the same time...but at the same time, women are smarter than men. That's true. But we gave you our rib so you could have a life to be able to be smarter than men. You gotta be thankful for that. You wouldn't even have thought if not for men. You gotta respect that and know it requires gratitude and subservience. That's the whole point I'm trying to make."

This one, in particular, proves that not all college students are progressive, equality-minded SJWs. And also that some religious people apparently don't understand the bible.

So that's all for now! Give me a couple of months. I'm sure I'll have more observations to report. Meanwhile, keep your own ears open. You'll be amazed at what you hear people say when you just pay attention. Real life is the most entertaining reality show.