Everyone knows each other in a small town. While working at the local grocery store, you also become familiar with all the townspeople. You have your loyal weekly shoppers and your monthly shoppers. Then, you have those shoppers that are as rare as a blue moon.
With all, you hear the same lines every day that makes you want to rip your hair out of your head.
1. “I just checked the balance.”
Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. It doesn’t matter. If my computer does not accept the card, I cannot let you leave with the items unless you have another way to pay.
2. “The sign says...”
The customer that always tries to argue that the price is something it clearly isn’t. They just get the signs mixed up.
3. “Are you still open?”
If my light is on, yes I am open. I am not on the clock and standing at my register for no reason.
4. “They’ll let anyone in here.”
You know the joke I’m talking about. Two old men or women come in and see each other and say this line every single time
5. "You can just add mine to his.”
The same two people get in line at the same time and say this line. You fake a laugh and go on about your day, every single time.
6. “Can you check in the back to see if you have any more?”
No Karen, I myself cannot check the back. My line is full of people. I can, however, get someone working for stock to check for you. Please wait.
7. “Are you paying for mine?”
Every single time you hear this you laugh like it’s the first time. It gets old after the first time.
8. “The price is…”
I cannot take your word for it. When I have to go and check, do not get mad. If I take your word for it and you’re lying, I get in trouble for it, not you.
9. “Can you double bag that for me if you don’t care?”
“If you don’t care.” They know you can’t tell them no. So, yes I will, even though deep down I do care and I know this will hold my line up.
10. “I added the items to my account.”
If you had the items in your digital account, then they would have went through my computer. They didn’t, so there’s nothing more I can do myself.
11. “Those are supposed to be… a pound.”
If the PLU code rings an item up as something different than what you think it is or what it’s advertised to be, then that isn’t MY fault.
12. “Can you get me real quick?”
Yes, Susan. I can get you even though I was getting a chance to do something other than running a register.
13. “It’s good, I just made it.”
You know the funny joke that a customer makes while you are counterfeit-checking their money. IT ISN’T FUNNY WHEN YOU HEAR IT EVERY DAY. Eventually, someone is going to take you seriously.
14. “Are you closing?”
Of course I’m not closing! My light's not on and I wasn’t just walking away from the register for no reason! But yes, I’ll get you. No worries.
15. “If it doesn’t scan, it’s free.”
No. No, it’s not free and you’re not funny.
16. “It’s EBT.”
Okay, good for you. I don’t need to know. Just swipe your card.
17. “Can you break a hundred?”
It isn’t, “Can you break a one-hundred dollar bill.”
18. “You have to punch it in.”
If your card looks like it has been run over by a train and smashed with a ton of bricks, why do you not get a new one? We aren’t always allowed to ‘punch’ numbers in.
19. “The price is supposed to be…”
If the price that is in the system doesn’t match what the product advertises, it isn’t my fault and you shouldn’t take it out on me. I’m doing my job the correct way. The issue can be resolved in a timely and calm manner if you be patient.
20. “Do you have any paper coupons?”
No. No, I do not have paper coupons because we are a store that provides digital coupons.
21. “Did I leave a bag?”
If you left a bag, it will still be here.
22. “Can I leave this here?”
Yes, you can leave this here, even though there’s a risk you’re taking of someone grabbing an item out of your cart, causing you to make a second trip.
23. “I only have… on my card.”
This is from the customer that allows you to try to finalize their transaction, only to tell you that they have a certain amount on their card AFTER you find out yourself when the card doesn’t process. Please tell us this beforehand. If you do, it will save a lot of time and trouble.
24. “What’s the holdup?”
Well, as you can see, Linda left her money in the vehicle so she had to go get it.
