I knew since I was in middle school that I was a lot different than my peers. I would laugh, and I would catch myself laughing and I would tell myself that I wasn't happy, so I had no reason to be laughing. I had thoughts inside my head, and I knew that they were not normal. I figured it was just a phase since I was in middle school and my body was going through some changes. In high school, these thoughts that I had did not stop. They came and they went, but they were getting worse and worse with time.
My grades started to drop dramatically, and the things I once loved doing became too exhausting to do, so I eventually stopped doing them. Something as simple as getting out of bed for school in the morning started to become too much for me. I started isolating myself away from people, and soon my friendships and relationships with others started to fade away too. Again, I thought this was just another phase that every teenager went through. At least, that's what people told me anyway.
I am a freshman in college now, and those thoughts aren't a phase. I have been exposed to so many uncomfortable situations since being in college, so I really think this has brought out my depression more.
Fall semester, I was doing great! I ended up getting on the Deans List. I made my parents and everyone so proud of me. I felt good. My grades were finally up, and I had thought for sure I was finally happy. Spring semester came and I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to get out of bed again, and I didn't want to study. My grades started to fall, and my thoughts got the worst that they had ever been. I decided to go to the counselor on campus, and the next day I was diagnosed with depression. I have dealt with depression for six years now. Since being diagnosed, I have heard different types of comments from multiple people. Here are some common things people with depression do not want to hear:
1. Other people have it worse than you.
We know people have it worse than us. We aren't feeling sorry for ourselves and we aren't choosing to feel this way. Saying this will only make us feel worse.
2. Get over it.
Trust me, if I could put my depression in a box and bury it and never look back I would. Sadly, it is a part of me and it consumes my everyday life. It's not something I can just forget about.
3. You're going to have to depend on a pill every day to make you happy.
Yes, I know and it sucks that I have to do that, but I would much rather swallow a pill every day rather than feel the way I do.
4. You just want attention.
Attention is the last thing I want. I do not want anyone's attention. I want to be alone a lot of the time. When I have someone's attention it makes me extremely uncomfortable.
5. Why don't you just find something to take your mind off the way you feel?
Doing this only temporarily fixes the problem. Depression consumes your whole entire body, so most of the time trying to do things you once loved is exhausting.
6. You have a great life. How are you depressed? What more do you want?
My parents have given me things that I have always wanted and they continue to love me unconditionally, so do my two sisters, but depression does not care. It doesn't care if you have a good life or if you've had anything you have ever needed. Just because I have the things I need doesn't mean anything.
7. I don't understand you.
I don't even understand myself, so I don't expect you to either.
If you or someone you know is dealing with depression please help them, or encourage them to seek help. I am finally genuinely happy and I look forward to the future so much now. Seeking help has impacted my life in a great way, and I'm a completely different person now than I was throughout those dark stages of my life.
