Whether it is a hobby or a career goal, thousands of people try their hand at standup comedy. I started doing standup comedy in 2014 and, in the last two and a half years, I have developed some pet-peeves related to questions and comments I have been forced to endure. So here is my list of the top five things you should stop asking or saying to a comedian.

1. "Tell Me A Joke!"

Maria Bamford (one of my comedic idols) wraps every comedian's feeling about this common demand in four words: "It's not like that." Performing in front of a crowd is way easier than telling one person or even a small group of people a joke that you have crafted. It's not like I won't tell you a joke; I know a great one about a pirate who walks into a bar... But the jokes we write for our sets usually need context and rely on the character or persona we have developed for the stage.

If you were expecting a knock, knock joke... You can get those online; don't expect them from a comedian.

2. " Do you ever get heckled?"

Yes...

But it's not what you think. I would say less than 10 percent of the time it goes down like this great takedown from Amy Schumer.

More often than not hecklers are people trying to add something to your joke; someone from the audience thinks they have a better punchline than you and, usually aided by alcohol, they decide to share it with the you while you're performing. In my experience, most comics ignore comments shared by hecklers and it's not nearly as exciting as you think.

Although this question could lead to a comic sharing a story that is truly funny in the way it was handled, comics work hard on their set... Especially if a comic is having a set recorded, a heckler can really hinder our perception of how our whole set went.

And to those of you who are thinking about going out to a show, do not heckle the comics. Keep your mouth shut unless you are prompted by the comedian to respond.

3. "Have you ever bombed?"

Yes. Everyone bombs at some point. It's the nature of the beast.

Before I started doing comedy in Atlanta, I saw the hilarious Mo Arora (@Mo Arora) opening for touring headliners at Atlanta Improv (may you rest in peace) and The Laughing Skull Lounge (@LaughingSkull). I felt star-struck when I ran into him at an open-mic for the first time. While I was trying to figure out my comedic voice, I was running into Mo night after night and watching him kill. But I will never forget the first time I saw him bomb (you know I love you, Mo). It was so reassuring to see someone who I felt was so out of my league have an off night.

So don't ask a comedian about bombing. It happens and at times it can be traumatic (like the time I bombed so hard in a lesbian bar that the host handed me $20 and told me to get a strong drink). No one wants to talk about their failures. Try asking something different like, "What's the biggest crowd you've ever performed for?"

4. "For being a comedian, you're not that funny in person."

Hey! Guess what? Comedians are real people with real emotions. Don't make friends with a comedian and expect them to be funny all the time. For me, this has been a bigger problem in dating than in any other sphere of my life.

I met a guy at a show and he gave me his number. I called him up a week or so later and we went on a date. I brought up topics like social injustice, politics, foreign affairs, and he was upset that our date wasn't a non-stop, roller coaster of laughs. The post-date text I received said, "Tonight was fun but I don't want to see you again. Don't get me wrong, you're a nice guy, but I thought you'd be funnier in real life."

If you know anything about they type of people who are comedians, you'll know a lot of us developed our sense of humor out of coping with depression and anxiety. If you know a comedian (especially if you date a comedian), then you need to be ready to handle a person with real emotions off all kinds... you know, like any other normal person.

5. "Feel free to use this on stage..."

Guess what: I probably wasn't going to. I don't want to tell a joke you've written or share a story that is your experience. And, if it is a conversation that we are having together, I don't need your approval to joke about it.

This question haunts all comedians who make the mistake of telling their day-job coworkers that they do comedy in the evenings... But it's not just my coworkers who are guilty of offering me advice on my art. Here is a list of people who have offered me jokes:

-My Mom

-My Dad

-My Sister

-My Boss

-The IT Guy In My Office

-The Lady Who Cuts My Hair

-A Plumber I Hired

-My Best Friend

-My Barista At Starbucks

-My Boyfriend

Literally, everyone thinks they're a comedian. But guess what? I'm the only one in that whole group of people with the balls to tell my own terrible jokes on stage. And you want to know why everyone offers advice? Because, like a vegan, I'll self-implode if I don't tell someone every thirty minutes that I do comedy.

But I don't want to just tell you what you shouldn't do without suggesting a couple questions you should ask a comedian. So here are five supplementary questions that you can ask:

1. Do you want to get a drink?

2. Do you need someone to talk to?

3. Can we be friends?

4. Do you have videos online?

5. Who is your favorite comedian?

So, there you have it. Now you are ready to go out into the world and interact with a comedian!