Just a year ago I moved into my own apartment in my college town with a friend of mine. I was so excited to be on my own, for real this time and not in a college dorm room. I had the freedom of leaving campus at the end of the day, of cooking real meals, and having friends over to my apartment. I felt cool. But with living on your own, comes a lot of responsibilities of taking care of yourself. I felt prepared and confident that I could do it, and I'm so glad that I did! While at times it can be stressful, I've learned some pretty rad things being on my own.
1. What freedom feels like.
While my parents were never “lock you in the house” strict, they definitely had rules. I had a curfew, I was disciplined, school came first and friends second and I had restrictions on where i was allowed to go, and they always had to know where I was going - all for good reasons too. And I’m happy they gave me this discipline and guidelines to follow. Because now I can appreciate going wherever I want, coming back when I want and not feeling guilty when I come home at 2 a.m. or the next morning without having to explain myself to anyone.
2. The balance of money (can be difficult).
Rent, WiFi, power, utilities, groceries...all very important to keep a house livable. I learned that I can’t just spend all my money on fun just because now I have the freedom to play. Each month I have to plan out where my money goes…$300 here, $25 here, $60 there, and so on. You can’t just wing it with money when you’re on your own, because even though my parents will help when I ask, I don’t like to ask. So the money goes to the important stuff first, because without money there's no rent and no rent means...homeless. And where would I store my wine?!
3. You need to find a few people who you can always rely on (this should probably include your roommate).
So like, when your apartment floods at 4 a.m. and you need a place to stay for a few days, it’s good to have your go-to people that take care of you no matter what. When you lock your keys in your car in a dark parking lot, it’s good to be able to call your roommate to rescue you with your spare (or wait with you until the locksmith comes because you don’t have a spare). *Note to self, get a spare key for car ASAP* No matter the situation or crisis, its good to build a relationship with a few people that are there for you and make sure to return the favor, always, and be there for them.
4. Becoming best friends with your roommate is kind of the coolest thing.
Instead of moving in with a best friend, I moved in with an acquaintance on a whim. We worked together and had similar interests and mindsets on life so we figured it would be fine. It was more than fine, we clicked and grew close very quickly. She’s my go to girl to laugh with, cry with, vent with and experience random things with. Whether its a trip to WinCo, the pet store or Las Vegas, we always have a fun time. Plus, its really cool to not hate your roommate. It makes life a whole lot easier to come home from a bad day to drink wine with your roommate rather than hide in your room from them.
5. My own space is my own space.
I can decorate however I want. I can clean as often, or not, as I want. (Its also nice when your roommate has the same taste and habits as you do). Either way though, this is my place to watch Netflix for hours if I want to, to craft random crafts and get glitter everywhere, to paint my nails without my dad saying how bad it stinks and to do nothing all day. I don’t feel guilty for eating mac and cheese and lounging on the couch because A) no one cares or B) no one else is home to care about my laziness. And I can have friends over whenever I want without my mom asking a zillion questions on their whole life. Makes my life easy.
6. I can handle stressful adult situations (with minor freak outs).
While it takes some practice and a little experience (and probably some tears because I cry a lot) I’ve realized that I can take care of things by myself. It started with small things like grocery shopping, paying bills, taking care of official documents with the University to dealing with a flood, getting in a car wreck and handling insurance companies and rental car idiots. Mom and Dad aren’t right there to tell me step by step how to go through my days, I have to figure it out for the most part. Of course I call with questions, but I have to execute the decisions and actions to move forward and fix the problem of what is in front of me. Again, it's always good to have your go-to people in your town to help you along the way.
7. At the end of the day, I can look around and feel a little proud of who I am.
Yeah, this sounds cheesy. So what if I have my own place? My parents still help with excess bills but I’m proud to say that I have got up on my own two feet and starting living life independently. I have my own space, decorated the way I want, with all the necessities to make a real meal - not just ramen, and live my daily life. All the while working, going to school and growing up? I’d say that’s something to be pretty proud of, even on the roughest days.
Adulting can be hard, but it can be pretty awesome too. This month threw a lot of adult sh** at me, but with a little help from my friends and family, I handled it and moved along with life. You learn a few cardinal rules living on your own and those rules will help you for the rest of your life. Don't go through your young adult life swearing off the whole "adulting" thing. Some people never get to experience that. Anyway here's one last piece of advice:
