I just moved to the Big Apple and am fascinated by everything it has to offer. Despite my efforts of researching the city beforehand, I still find myself falling into the most obvious tourist traps, like:
1. Being unsure about what exactly a MetroCard is and where I can use it.
2. You assume the NQR is the same train.
3. Along with 123.
4 And ACE.
5. And 456.
6. What is this mysterious L train, and why does everyone who rides it have a handlebar mustache?
7. Why do the J or Z trains exist? Who even uses these?
8. You always mean to take the "express" train but somehow end up on the local train, and it ends up taking you an extra 30 minutes to get to your destination.
9. You try to use your credit card everywhere on small items and continue to be upset when the store has a $10 minimum.
10. You are even more upset when the lady selling mangos on the corner of Broadway won't take credit. Seriously? It's 2015.
11. You don't realize that Queens is Uptown and Brooklyn is Downtown.
12. You have no idea where Jamaica is and avoid this train at all costs.
13. You think a mile walk is far.
14. You get offended when people don't use manners. Like, can you NOT breathe in my face total stranger?
16. You hold doors open for people and then end up being a "door greeter" for the next 5 minutes.
17. You check your purse frantically for theft every time someone brushes against it.
18. You are afraid of the subway when it's totally empty, and even more so when it takes 20 minutes for your train to come.
19. You get anxiety walking down Canal Street because everyone whispers "bags, wallet, sunglasses, designer" into your ears.
20. You call Broadway, Broadway Street. And while we're at it, it's "House-Stun" not "H[u]ston".
21. You expect the person to hold the door open for you when you are only a few seconds behind them.
22. You assume there are a ton of close beaches since Manhattan is an island, only to be disappointed that the closest one is about an hour train ride away.
23. You use a taxi at least once to avoid the subway system.
24. You start to have a love affair with Uber.
25. You are appalled by how long the lines are ESPECIALLY at Trader Joe's.
26. You tremble every time you try to get onto the subway.
27. You are pleasantly surprised that not all places are as bustling as Times Square.
28. You neglect to bring a pair of flats in your bag and have to walk in heels.
29. You think business clothes and old sneakers is a trend, not knowing heels are in their bags.
30. You go through bandaids and blister pads like a champ.
31. Your data runs out in a day (so does your battery) because you are constantly using Google Maps and Hopstop.
32. You neglect to bring a pair of headphones, or book, on the subway and are forced to sit there in silence with no wifi.
34. While sitting, you try your best to avoid eye contact at all costs.
35. You frantically check what stop the train is at by looking at the mosaic street sign on the walls. Thank god, 2 more stops left!
36. You have to end up getting takeout because every restaurant is booked for the month without reservations.
37. This results in you discovering the most amazing app ever, Seamless.
38. You don't trust the food trucks, despite how popular they are.
39. You can't remember if it is "Union Square" or "Union Park" or "Union Square Park." What even is the correct name?
41. You are hesitant to go to Central Park unless it is daytime just because of all the scary rumors you have heard.
42. You want to make friends, but everyone ignores you if you try to speak to them.
43. You feel bad saying no to the people passing out flyers and CDs on the street. Wait, I have to pay for this? Take it back!
44. You want to give every homeless person money... and dog food for his furry friend.
45. You start to loose sleep because you aren't used to the constant sound of traffic.
46. You get alarmed to hear the sound of sirens (Oh no! Someone's in trouble!) and realize this happens almost every thirty minutes.
47. You refuse to cross the street unless the "walk" sign is showing, no matter how few cars are around.
48. You actually call it the subway and not the train
If you are like me and have made a few, or all, of these "outsider" mistakes, I feel your pain. Give it some time and you will be walking like the locals before you know it.
