I Learned The Double Standard Of Women's Clothing When I Started Shopping In The Women's Section Myself

I Learned The Double Standard Of Women's Clothing When I Started Shopping In The Women's Section Myself

When you start wearing clothes as part of a gender transition, you can learn a lot of about the world.


I had been transitioning for a few months and barely had any feminine clothing, it was time for me to go out there and find some clothes which fit my personal tastes. I quickly learned that as a woman, I dressed completely different from when I was a boy- I used to wear long shirts and sweaters to "hide" myself. But now wasn't the time to hide. It was my time to shine.

I made a list of my favorite retailers- Macy's, Target, JCPenny, Old Navy, H&M; and Forever 21. A good tip for women whom are beginning their transitions is to go with a few of your trusted and close friends to give you their two-cents on fashion. I went with a friend to Forever 21 for one of their big sales events and found clothes I adored. I bought jeans, skirts, short shorts, t-shirts with intricate designs, etc. Next came the shoes- since I was little, I loved looking at women's shoes. It was also around this time I was watching "Sex and the City" and I wanted to be like Carrie Bradshaw, without spending those hundreds of dollars on Jimmy Choo's and Manolo's.

As the new school year started with at my university, I was hesitant the first day I would step out of my apartment dressing as a woman. I told myself that I had nothing to fear anymore and that I needed to do this. After the initial hurdle, I was happy and feeling beautiful. People complimented me on my makeup, my shoes, my skirts and dresses- it was fun and it affirmed by identity.

Then the rainy, winter months of Northern California came into full bloom- the dreary weather didn't stop me from rocking high-heeled boots, bedazzled jeans, and pink fluffy jackets. This new clothing experience showed a new side of me- I wanted to always be seen and noticed, I craved for the attention that strangers gave me for my fashion. I was becoming a fashionista in my own right. It wasn't long before the boys started to notice me. A lot of my shirts had, and still have, celebrity prints from my childhood- Britney Spears, Selena, Whitney Houston, Scooby-Doo, etc.

Then I went home for the holidays where I received a lesson in double standards from family- Isn't that skirt too short? You're gonna wear those? You look like a hooker. I'm comfortable with you wearing that "getup." Couldn't you wear something longer?

I was frustrated and heartbroken to get such an abrupt lesson in feminine expectations and the unfair rules the public put on fashion. I never expected to be subjected to the same standards I heard from my other female friends. Some of them helped me understand why I was so bitter about this rejection- being unprepared for the backlash women face daily. I wore my clothes because I liked them, because I felt good in them and that should have been all that mattered.

As the holidays drew on, I became increasingly irritated with my family for associating my clothes with harlots, even though they were trying to protect me and wanted to keep me safe. I went back to my university before the second quarter of the year started. After my anger subsided with this new challenge of conformity, I managed to move past the expectations and continued to dress how I felt. I did not feel slutty or revealing and I realized that was all that mattered. I did however conform to family standards and promised to dress more conservatively much to my chagrin, but that's what you do for the people you love- you make of personal comfort sacrifices.

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10 Reasons Why You Need Crocs In Your Life

I don't understand why you haven't bought a pair yet.

Crocs have the perception of being the world's ugliest shoe, or sometimes you hear wearing them is "social suicide". Well, I'm here to tell you everything you've heard is wrong.

1. They go with everything

Personally, after finding the perfect outfit to wear to class, I struggle finding the right shoe to wear. I think about all the walking I'm going to have to do and I always grab my Crocs. Whether I'm wearing jeans, yoga pants or even sweatpants, Crocs are always my go-to. I mean, look at these people, doesn't look like social suicide to me. Looks pretty damn good.

2. They're extremely comfortable

If you ask anyone who owns a pair of Crocs, I guarantee you they'll tell you how comfortable these shoes are. It's like walking on memory foam or a cloud, whatever anaolgy you want to use.

3. The color range is fantastic

When you go to most sites to shop, there's a color list. Crocs gives you a color wheel. A FLIPPIN' wheel. Not to mention the bunch of patterns you can choose from like, zebra, leapord, camo, and more.

4. They come with their own accessories

Don't even get my started on the little accessories that can be added to every pair of Crocs, called Jibbitz. They're like little pins that bring out your inner child. Decorate your shoes with Disney princesses or even Star Wars.

Yes, you can get Mater on your shoe.

5. They'll be your best friend in college

This may be my own personally opinion and I may be biased, but with all the walking I do on college campus, these shoes are the best purchase I've ever made. They never leave my feet smelling like death or in pain, which I think is pretty amazing.

6. They can be worn all year round

I personally would wear my classic Crocs all year round but some people may not like that idea. That's why you should know they make a variety of different styles like sandals, wedges, boots and even FLEECE lined ones. Yes I said fleece.

7. You don't have to be an adult to wear them

Maybe it's just a girl thing, but I hated that I couldn't wear my mom's 5 inch stiletto heels when I was a kid, but with Crocs that's not a problem and my dreams aren't crushed.

8. They're a unisex shoe

This life-changing experience doesn't have to be just for girls. Guys, if you want to lounge in your sweats all day, throw some Crocs on. Heck, they even make boots that don't empty out our pockets and make your feet stink, so doesn't hurt giving it a shot.

9. They give back to their community

Crocs created Crocs Cares, which has donated over 3 million pairs of shoes to people in need around the world.

10. They can be worn in water

Nothing grinds my gears more than when I go to the beach and have to take off my shoes, that just get covered in sand anyways. An added plus to Crocs is they can be worn in water.

Most of this shocking and extremely awesome information was found on the Crocs website, where you should go because I know after reading this, you really want a pair.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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I Bought My First 'Big Girl' Purse And, Damn, I Feel Like A Badass

If you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.


To say that I am a big believer in the phrase, "treat yo self" is a complete understatement and anyone who knows me knows just how serious I encourage it to everyone.

Over spring break, I decided to take some of my advice and made two big investments.

The first one was my Canon DSLR. But we all knew that one was coming because I had been saving up my paychecks for months since last year and was ready to invest in something that would ultimately help me perfect a skill I had been wanting to learn for a while.

The other investment was a Kate Spade purse that even caught me off guard because I didn't exactly expect myself to want a purse. But you know that feeling of not knowing you needed something until you saw it? Well, that was me and from the moment I saw it, I knew there was no going back. So, I went into the store and dropped the money on the purse and just didn't look back at the impulsive decision I had just made, which was actually going against my New Year's resolution of being smarter with my money.

But you know what, treat yo self.

And if you expected me to feel bad about my purse, surprise! I don't feel bad one bit.

When I tell you I feel good about my purse and about myself with my purse, I am being so freaking honest. Now, I can't even picture myself without my purse. It might sound stupid, but it actually makes every outfit look better and makes me feel like a bad bitch.

Like the Carrie Bradshaw, the "Sex and the City" fashion queen, once said, "Balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it."

So, if you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.

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