I Learned The Double Standard Of Women's Clothing When I Started Shopping In The Women's Section Myself

I Learned The Double Standard Of Women's Clothing When I Started Shopping In The Women's Section Myself

When you start wearing clothes as part of a gender transition, you can learn a lot of about the world.


I had been transitioning for a few months and barely had any feminine clothing, it was time for me to go out there and find some clothes which fit my personal tastes. I quickly learned that as a woman, I dressed completely different from when I was a boy- I used to wear long shirts and sweaters to "hide" myself. But now wasn't the time to hide. It was my time to shine.

I made a list of my favorite retailers- Macy's, Target, JCPenny, Old Navy, H&M; and Forever 21. A good tip for women whom are beginning their transitions is to go with a few of your trusted and close friends to give you their two-cents on fashion. I went with a friend to Forever 21 for one of their big sales events and found clothes I adored. I bought jeans, skirts, short shorts, t-shirts with intricate designs, etc. Next came the shoes- since I was little, I loved looking at women's shoes. It was also around this time I was watching "Sex and the City" and I wanted to be like Carrie Bradshaw, without spending those hundreds of dollars on Jimmy Choo's and Manolo's.

As the new school year started with at my university, I was hesitant the first day I would step out of my apartment dressing as a woman. I told myself that I had nothing to fear anymore and that I needed to do this. After the initial hurdle, I was happy and feeling beautiful. People complimented me on my makeup, my shoes, my skirts and dresses- it was fun and it affirmed by identity.

Then the rainy, winter months of Northern California came into full bloom- the dreary weather didn't stop me from rocking high-heeled boots, bedazzled jeans, and pink fluffy jackets. This new clothing experience showed a new side of me- I wanted to always be seen and noticed, I craved for the attention that strangers gave me for my fashion. I was becoming a fashionista in my own right. It wasn't long before the boys started to notice me. A lot of my shirts had, and still have, celebrity prints from my childhood- Britney Spears, Selena, Whitney Houston, Scooby-Doo, etc.

Then I went home for the holidays where I received a lesson in double standards from family- Isn't that skirt too short? You're gonna wear those? You look like a hooker. I'm comfortable with you wearing that "getup." Couldn't you wear something longer?

I was frustrated and heartbroken to get such an abrupt lesson in feminine expectations and the unfair rules the public put on fashion. I never expected to be subjected to the same standards I heard from my other female friends. Some of them helped me understand why I was so bitter about this rejection- being unprepared for the backlash women face daily. I wore my clothes because I liked them, because I felt good in them and that should have been all that mattered.

As the holidays drew on, I became increasingly irritated with my family for associating my clothes with harlots, even though they were trying to protect me and wanted to keep me safe. I went back to my university before the second quarter of the year started. After my anger subsided with this new challenge of conformity, I managed to move past the expectations and continued to dress how I felt. I did not feel slutty or revealing and I realized that was all that mattered. I did however conform to family standards and promised to dress more conservatively much to my chagrin, but that's what you do for the people you love- you make of personal comfort sacrifices.

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10 Outfits Every College Girl Wears To Class At Least Once

You can thank me later.

It's happened on more than one occasion.

The occasion of being called out more than once for dressing down for class and by "down" I mean some of the haters we hate to love claiming that they can't see the shorts we're wearing under the oversized band tee on our way to class.

Contrary to popular belief, yes I'm not oblivious to how my choice of outfits for class tends to shift on the more comfortable side and yes, I am aware that it looks like I'm not wearing pants, I like it that way.

Every girl in college wears what they feel is comfortable enough to wear in a 2-hour lecture and these are my ideas of comfort.

1. The infamous oversized tee with Nike shorts.

I'll say it right now, I have a variety of assorted Soffee and Nike shorts that I pair with almost every oversized tee I own and it's my go-to for those 8 AM math lectures.

2. Oversized tee with leggings and riding boots.

Once the first red, yellow and orange leaf is found on campus grounds, you know you're about to see a swarm of college girls, like me, sporting riding boots in every shade of brown. Jeans optional.

3. Oversized tee with leggings and rain boots.

Once the first rainfall hits campus, you better believe you'll see this same 'fit paired with Hunter boots in almost every color.

4. The "I'm going to the gym right after class, I SWEAR" look.

Whether or not I have plans to go to the gym after class or not, I'm probably in my gym gear 4 times of the week and I'm not ashamed by it.

5. Jeans.

I've always had a hate/hate relationship with wearing jeans when I absolutely do not have to and here's why: they make my derriere completely disappear. When (and if) you catch me wearing jeans in lecture hall it's probably because someone paid me a large sum of money to do so.

6. Your boyfriend's flannel paired with... you guessed it, your favorite pair of leggings.

This is probably one of the many flannels I've stolen from my boyfriend and certainly not the last one. Paired with another favorite standard black leggings, you can't go wrong with this outfit to snooze in.

7. The baseball hat and quarter zip ensemble.

One of my all times favorites, you can't go wrong with a zipper up 3x too big for your body and a baseball hat you honestly forgot where you got it from. We also can't forget our infamous black leggings.

8. Your "walk of shame" outfit.

Now, this doesn't mean you roll up to Intro to Psychology wearing what you wore to the lacrosse mixer the night before, no. This is more of the outfit you so quickly had to throw on in a span of two minutes because you left so and so's apartment downtown an hour too late.

9. A v-neck.

Another one of my favorites.

10. Dresses (or anything even relatively formal).

Disclaimer: I personally would never come to class wearing this but gigantic kudos to cute a** girls that do decide to wear this because you look good.

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Not Wearing A Bra, And 11 Other Things Girls Do That Make Guys Uncomfortable

According to men, we're the biggest enigma.


As a woman in today's society, it seems like according to men we can do nothing right. We either get over sexualized to the point where we are told "cover up" or over sexualized to the point where we are called prude for not showing enough skin to attract the attention of the men around us. Taking all of this into consideration, guys are still grossly uncomfortable with normal things that women do in today's world. If you're a woman reading this, I'm sure you're already forming a list in your head. If you're a man, well, here are 12 things that you are uncomfortable with that you probably shouldn't be.

1. Not wearing a bra 

First and foremost, whether I cease to wear one out in public or in my home, trust me, buddy, I'm not doing it for you. I'm not doing it so you'll mention the fact that you can tell I'm not wearing one. I'm doing it for my comfort level, and most certainly not for your benefit. At all. Ever.

2. Denying their advances 

Grabbing my ass is not the correct way to ask me to move out of your way, catcalling me will not get my attention, and no, buying me a drink does not mean you automatically get laid. Not only do you look like an idiot to every woman around you with that kind of mentality, but to the girl you're trying to impress by being a pig? Yeah, she thinks you're pretty stupid, too.

I know it just kills your ego when we tell you no. How dare we make YOU feel uncomfortable by denying your lovely attempts at getting our attention.

3. Not accepting a drink they hand us

They offer you a drink, you say no, and suddenly not only are they mad on some occasions, but their poor ego is damaged indefinitely... Until they try that same move with the girl a few places down. They don't understand why you won't accept their drink that they were so nice to buy you.

Uh, you could drug me. If you want to buy me a drink, let me order it, watch the bartender make it, and then you can pay. Please don't expect me to take a drink right from you.

4. Traveling in groups to the bathroom during a girls' night out

We only do that because there is strength in numbers. If it makes you uncomfortable, sorry, but guys like you are probably the reason we do it. I don't know why our safety is any concern to you.

5. Knowing about cars, sports, or anything deemed a "guy thing"

You say one thing about a sports team or a car part and suddenly, according to men, you have no idea what you're talking about and they have to talk over you to explain it all, much better than you could. They only do this because the thought of us knowing anything about "guy stuff" makes their skin crawl.

6. Wanting careers 

How dare we want real jobs and to be paid as much as them! Silly us!

7. Thinking our place is anywhere but the kitchen 

Obviously we are meant to be of total service to the men in our lives, regardless of circumstances, right? We shouldn't have careers and hobbies when our life's purpose is to be a homemaker who slaves over the stove all day while our very masculine husbands do everything.

When will we learn? No wonder you guys are so uncomfortable. We don't know our place yet.

8. Wanting rights to our own bodies 

Uh oh, I think we forgot (again) that men are supposed to be in control of everything about us, including reproductive rights. No wonder they're so confused. They aren't always in control.

9. Not wanting kids

But wait! Isn't our only reason for being alive to mother a baby? It's a blessing to be a mom no matter what, according to men, and we need to fall in line. So, when you look a man in the eye and say you don't want kids, sometimes their eyes about pop out of their skull.

10. Having a menstrual cycle 

Men will never understand the daunting nature of our time of the month. Between cramps, headaches, and the constant desire to pop pain killers, it's grueling. To men, though, the whole thing is gross. Ew, we're bleeding. Forget about denying them anything during this time because most of them will not understand why.

11. Denying them sex of any kind, ever 

We have every right to tell you no. Listen, I know it just totally baffles you when we do, guys, but we owe you nothing. Let me say it again. We owe you nothing. No matter what.

12. Being independent 

By society's standards, even today, we are to allow a man to take care of us meek young women. You meet a man who intends to do that and by the first date when you pay for your bill he doesn't want you anymore. You want to work for your money and not depend on him, know about topics deemed "guy stuff", and stand up to him and he just doesn't understand why.

Let's face it: Guys will never understand.

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