We all have that one friend that we label as “geographically” or “directionally challenged”. If you don’t have any friends like that it’s probably because you are that friend. You’re easily disoriented and your worst nightmare probably involves being spun around in a crowded city and being told to find your way back home. There have probably been plenty of jokes made at the expense of your geography skills. Some people find it hard to believe that a person could actually be that bad with directions. But you know the truth. Whether it’s by foot or by car, you simply were not born with the ability to find places. If you’re that person who can’t back out of the driveway without getting lost, you’ll probably relate to most, if not all of these scenarios.
1. You always look like a tourist no matter where you go
It will never not be embarrassing when you have to ask someone how to get to the mall, the library, etc when you’re only a pathetic 20 minutes from home.
2. It’s not uncommon for you to accidentally end up in the same exact spot you started.
Four wrongs make a right, right? Well I just made four wrong turns so that means I should be arriving….right back where I was…what.
3. Your GPS is your best friend…
Thank god you weren’t born in a generation before electronic directions. Your map reading skills are subpar to say the least.
4. …and also your worst enemy.
It’s probably more of a love hate relationship.
“Turn left in 500 feet”
“How far is 500 feet?! Now?! Do I turn now?!”
“Rerouting”
-_-
5. There is no such thing as a “short cut”.
Once you finally have a set path to somewhere memorized (which takes an eternity to do) there’s no way in hell you’re straying from it. There could be a sixty minute delay and you would still rather stay on that road than wander off from what you know.
6. You have to plan out the exact route you're taking somewhere a solid 30 minutes before you leave.
Before going anywhere you need to consult MapQuest, Google Maps, and an atlas (just to be safe). Then, and only then, are you 50% confident you won’t get lost going there. You also typically leave for places way earlier than you need to because you have to account for getting lost.
7. Highway driving is your favorite because it’s nearly impossible to get lost on a highway.
Unless you miss your exit, which you actually probably do a lot too…so never mind.
8. You’re fascinated when you find out how point A and point B are related to one another.
You literally had no idea that the road the movie theater also crossed the road with the gym. Mind=blown.
9. You haven’t the slightest grasp on the concepts of cardinal directions.
“Oh I’m supposed to head east on Pine Street and then turn south? Let me just whip out my compass that I conveniently carry around with me everywhere!”
10. You call your friends and family more times than you’d like to admit asking for directions.
And they’re not even surprised. You? Lost? What a shocker.
11. You’re almost never asked to drive on road trips.
Aux cord master. You’re on it. Snack provider. Absolutely. Driver……probably not. Your friends actually want to get there alive and in a reasonable amount of time.
12. When people from out of town visit and expect you to show them around.
I can show you my street and maybe the next street over if you’re lucky, but otherwise I’d recommend finding a different tour guide. Sorry.
13. Short hand directions are never enough for you.
“Oh the restaurant is right by the ice rink.”
“Where’s the ice rink”
“You know, right over near the shoe store.”
“Where’s the shoe store?”
And so on and so forth.
14. You never get yelled at for being a back seat driver.
Finally a silver lining! You know your place in the car when you’re not driving; in the back not saying a word. Not that anyone would listen to you anyway since they probably know how bad you are with directions.
In reality, a bad sense of direction is really just a talent for getting lost. So congratulations, you’re better at not knowing where you’re going than anyone else.
