18 Things Your Dogs Would Say If They Could Talk

18 Things Your Dogs Would Say If They Could Talk

What would your dog say to you?
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I don't know about you, but my dogs love to run around and bark at everything! They are my crazy little babies, and I don't know what I would do without them. These here are definitely a few things that they would say if they if they could talk, and I bet many other dogs would say as well.

1. When you leave them at home

"You're leaving me? What did I do wrong? How long will you be gone this time? PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

2. When you come back home

"YOU'RE BACK! I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WHY AREN'T YOU AS EXCITED TO SEE ME AS I AM TO SEE YOU?! YOU WERE GONE FOR SO LONG I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK! I LOVE YOU HUMAN!"

3. When you ask them if they want to go outside

"Of course I wanna go outside! How did you know? When are we going? Are we going right now? I'm so ready for this walk! Hurry up! Lets go, lets go, lets go!"

4. When you are asleep

"Wake up human! Why are you sleeping? I slept all day. Why didn't you sleep all day? Can we play now? Better yet, can we go OUTSIDE?!"

5. When they are hungry

"I see that you are eating, do I get any of that? I'm hungry too. If I bet my adorable eyes at you and whimper a little bit, will you then give me your food? PLEASE?! You are standing up now. DOES THAT MEAN FOOD?! IT DOES MEAN FOOD! So, every time you stand up from now on, I should assume it means food, right? Hey, No fair! How come you get steak and I these weird little crunchy pebbles?"

6. When they lick your face

"You gave me kisses, now I give you kisses! Why don't you like my kisses? Why do you keep rubbing them off? What does me drinking out of the toilet bowl and licking butt have to do with anything? I STILL WANNA GIVE YOU KISSES!"

7. Playing fetch

"Ohhh. I know what you are doing there. You think that if you wing this ball in front of my face, I will just automatically become hypnotized by it and run after it as soon as you, I MUST GRAB THAT BALL!!!!!!!!! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!"

8. Big dogs

"I'm just gonna sit on your lap now. What do you mean I'm too big? The chihuahua gets to sit on your lap, why can't I? I'm now a lap dog, this is my new spot on the couch, deal with it."

9. Potty training

"I'm sorry human. I'm still learning about this 'using the bathroom outside thing'. I'm not sure if I really like it. I feel a little exposed, and I don't really like it. I'm just gonna keep going in the house like you from now on if that's OK?"

10. When they do something wrong

"I know you are mad at me and I'm sorry. Can you please forgive me if I lick your face? No? Still mad? OK, I'll go sit far away from you and look really sad until you decide to love me again. :( "

11. Thunder storms

"HUMAN!!! What is that giant boom that keeps happening? I DON'T LIKE IT! MAKE IT STOP! If I hide behind you, will that solve it? NOPE, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! I'm gonna be in the bathroom hiding and shaking if you need me. Please let me know when the world stops ending."

12. Looking out the window

"LOOK AT THE LEAF THAT FELL!!! OMG AND A PERSON!!! There goes someone that I should actually bark at. WAIT, I SEE ANOTHER LEAF!!! HUMAN, HUMAN, COME LOOK AT THE OTHER DOG OUTSIDE!!!"

13. Treats

"Did you say treat? Which trick do you want me to do today? Lemme start with sit, It usually starts with sit. Catch? Ohhh, I know this one. It's the one where you throw it and I pretend to try and catch it, and then run after the treat and grab it before you can."

14. When you are making food

*Peaks into kitchen* "I smelled food, are you making food? CAN I HAVE SOME? Why not? How about if I do a trick and look adorable? HOW COME THE CAT GETS SOME OF THE TUNA? NO FAIR! I WANT SOME TOO!"

15. Going to the vet

"The park? We never go to the park on this day. BUT, OK I'LL BUY IT! LETS GO TO THE PARK! OK, this is not the park. Did I mention that I am very mad at you right now? You lied to me. I do not trust you for the next few hours and when we get home I will not want as much of your attention. WHERE ARE YOU ABOUT TO PUT THAT THING?! I am very mad at you human! How could you let her put that there?! THIS HAS TO BE ANIMAL ABUSE! Seriously, a cone? I only scratched it because it itched! Now I can't get that itch. We better be going to a park on the way home! Still no park, really? Oh look, there is another animal in the house that has a cone like me... wait, that's not an animal, ITS A LAMPSHADE! GET THIS CONE OFF OF ME!"

16. When all you want is a cute puppy picture

"Excuse me, but I don't feel like having my picture taken today, try again tomorrow. I'm just gonna keep running around the house every time you pull out the camera. No cute pictures for you! This is payback for the cone! I don't want to remember it!"

17. Having a party

"What are all of these people I don't know doing here? Hold up, you can't let more it until I'm done sniffing all of the ones that are here already! OK, they just need to make a single file line and I will just go down the line checking them out and making sure they are okay. Who gave you permission to pet me? OK, keep petting me, I don't know you, but you are willing to give me a belly rub!"

18. Having other pets

"I don't trust this cat. Why is he here? He's leaving in a few days right? How come the cat gets to sleep on the bed with you and I have to sleep in a cage like the hamster?! Does this mean I can eat the cat food, too? I WANNA PLAY WITH THE CAT!!!"

Cover Image Credit: msecnd.net

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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The Reality Of Cat Shows

Go in with an open mind, because cat shows may seem totally bizarre, but are incredibly fun and special.

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As a self-declared cat lady, when I decided to attend my first cat show I was hyped to pet all the kitties, and watch them do tricks, or show off their beauty. After attending a few, I know they're totally unique and amazing events that everyone should be attending.

Upon arriving, you will probably need to pay an entry fee, and maybe there's an area for donations for local animal shelters (yes, animal breeders support animal shelters!). You might be overwhelmed with the sheer amount of cats, as far as the eye can see. Having a game plan of cats to visit might seem fun, but just roaming and visiting is a lot more fulfilling, and you may discover breeds of cats you never knew you would love. Usually, cat shows will feature visiting areas for guests attending the show to view, and sometimes pet, the cats. As well as areas where cats are judged and given awards, sort of like miniature stages.

Visitor areas are pretty self-explanatory as you can roam around and look at the dozens of different breeds, of kittens and cats alike. The diversity will amaze you and the cats are all special and loved by their owner. Because cats can catch sicknesses while surrounded by so many other cats, it's important to sanitize your hands before petting, as well as asking the owner if you can pet their cat or kitten. Some may even let you hold their cat, but this would be rare and you shouldn't get your hopes up! While viewing cats, you may find some that are up for adoption and could find a new family member. Some cats are actually people's household pets, and are scored differently from a cat who was bred for its looks!

The competition side is where the cat shows get interesting. You can view any and all competitions, although there will be many occurring at a time. That's because cats will initially be ranked against the cats of the same breed as them, and within those breeds, by gender and color style. Winning best in the breed is the first step to becoming the champion of a cat show. Watch as owners get nervous and excited as the tiny plastic awards go up, showing which cat was victorious. Although all judges can be different, it's fun to see beautiful and friendly cats win awards and look pleased with themselves as their owner smiles with pride.

Later in the day or weekend, one cat will be chosen as the grand champion out of the best in breeds. Usually, fans can vote on their favorite as well, and award a special cat a top prize, although unofficial, for its cuteness and spirit. A hairless cat has won fan favorite at every show I attended!

Go in with an open mind, because cat shows may seem totally bizarre, but are incredibly fun and special. The group of people who participate will love to tell you about their amazing cat and let you in on cat show secrets. A place where cat lovers unite, what could be better?

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