I did not choose to live a life of a hangry person. The hanger chose me. It's a rough time living as someone who gets very hangry, and here are some things that all people who have experienced hanger can relate to.
1. You will refuse to go to "breakfast" with anyone who makes a reservation for noon.
THAT IS NOT BREAKFAST. And if I don't get my breakfast potatoes within five seconds of getting there you better hope I at least ate a snack before coming because NOON IS NOT BREAKFAST.
2. Snacks are not a once a day event.
I snack constantly- and trust me it's for the best.
3. If you take forever to get ready when were about to go eat, don't expect me to be pleasant.
I hear "food" and until said "food" reaches my stomach I will not typically be okay with you taking 20 minutes to put on eyeliner.
4. Let's get this straight: hunger comes first, then hanger.
Hangry Sarah is able to be prevented by taking the proper precautionary steps. Step 1: Feed me. That's about it.
5. Cravings are not something that can be brushed off.
If I am craving a burger and I end up with a slice of pizza on my plate because the waiter at the Italian place is drop you panties hot, I probably will be complaining the whole time and be overly upset about having a piece of pizza and not a burger.
6. I eat a lot. If you want to judge me for that please go mind your own business.
Food is like air to me. Constantly eating or not, I don't need your beady eyes watching me eat pasta and then a bowl of cereal and then chips and then edamame. I do what I do to keep the peace and you sir or madam are doing quite a good job at disturbing it.
7. If I say I'm hungry don't reply with "We just ate an hour ago."
DO YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW IT'S ONLY BEEN AN HOUR? Never question a hangry prone person when they say they are hungry. Just don't.
8. "Can I have a bite?"
No. No you may not. And if you don't stop ogling my food right this second, stuff is going to get real. My food is my food, unless you want to buy me more food to make up for the bite you want, you can 10000000% not have a bite.
9. A fancy restaurant that doesn't give a bread basket or something of the sort is not a restaurant that I would like to go to.
Add the time it takes you to decide on which salad to get and to explain to the waiter you want the low fat dressing and the cheese on the side but with a little on top and not too many olives and also an extra fork plus the time it takes for these places to plate the food so it looks worth the 40 bucks you paid for the meal and no one may make it out of this place alive.
10. Snacks are hidden in every bag, purse, drawer, pocket- you name it.
These snacks are for emergencies. But if you ask if I have any food on me the answer will be no, trust me you're not going to be happy if I get hungry later and you ended up only eating half of my granola bar before tossing it out.
11. Tread carefully on the topic of someone being hangry if they are currently hangry.
Sometimes if someone knows me well and knows my crankiness is purely because I need food, I will admit it. But if you poke and prod and make jokes about my hanger, you will regret it.
